Idahogirl81

It had been more than two months since I had told my wife I was leaving. For weeks I had been in a sad and painful funk. I knew there would be heartache in the weeks ahead. Little did I know it would be the worst pain I had ever felt in my life?

Searching for some solace I was feeling desperate. I had been in counseling for some time and it felt I had gone as far as I could. I was alone and lonely. In these lonely hours I began to scour the internet for some answers and some reassurance I had made the right decision.

Googling the term ‘Christian divorce support’ I came across a website for single Lutherans. Initially I was looking for some ideas of how to best cope with my new situation and the transition from married to single. The website was intriguing. Being a life-long Lutheran it seemed to be a good place to start.

After reading a few posts and articles I came across a section to post a profile. My initial thought was I wasn’t ready for this but something deep inside told me to give it a shot. So with some cautious trepidation I posted a brief profile about myself. From there I browsed through the profiles which matched the criteria I had entered.

After looking through a half dozen profiles there she was, Idahogirl81. According to the personality profile she was accepting, agreeable, diplomatic, adaptable, considerate, easy-going, even-tempered, good listener, and inventive, kind, patient, pleasant, satisfied and tolerant.

Divorced, a couple years younger than me, liked country music, independent, punctual, a non-smoker, a regular at church! Intriguing, then I took a look at the profile picture, reddish blonde hair, cute smile and a Santa Mickey Mouse hat. Hmmm, okay she has a sense of humor. More points in her favor.

She was looking for someone with an education, who was independent, a non-smoker who was self-motivated, and happy with himself! Okay so I was miserable at the moment but deep down I was content with where my future was taking me.

Again, with a little apprehension, I sent her a smile. Having not been involved in the dating scene for more than thirty years I wasn’t sure what to expect. What followed was a smile back. Wow, Idahogirl81 had replied, she had really replied.

So the ball was back in my court so I decided to chance it and send another e-mail. This time with a short note. The next day I received a reply from Idahogirl81. This began a couple of weeks of e-mail correspondence. We learned we had many things in common and shared interests. And now I finally knew her by something other than Idahogirl81. Her name was Susie and she lived in south central Idaho, some 1500 miles away. This explained the Idahogirl81 moniker.

It wasn’t long before we realized it would be more productive to talk on the phone and we exchanged phone numbers. The first few phone calls were the opportunity to get to know each other better. There were the lists of questions. I found it amusing that she had a list of questions each time we talked. It became our game of Twenty Questions. Everything from the very mundane to the very personal, no topic was off limits.

In Susie I began to find someone in whom I could confide my most inner thoughts and feelings. She was caring and supportive and listened with patience and genuine concern. There was no judgment, just someone who listened and cared.

Over the next several weeks we would talk for many hours on the telephone. On average four to six hours per night. We began to discover many things about each other and that there were many things we have in common.

We began to bond a strong friendship and mutual admiration. How do you begin to have such strong feelings for someone you have never met? From the beginning we felt it may be destiny as the website we originally met had been taken down just a few days later. Fate, chance or God working in our lives, I want to believe the latter.

God has seemed to place us in each other’s lives for something special. For me, Idahogirl81 had come to me at a time when my life was a train wreck; she had given me hope and was the bright spot in an otherwise bleak future.

After ten weeks of long telephone calls and daily e-mails it was time to meet. We decided she would fly to Chicago and we would spend three days together to see if there is any chemistry to further spark our relationship. Well the first spark was the moment I saw her come down the escalator at the airport. I will never forget the nervous smile on her face. Neither of us had ever been in a long distance relationship before and to finally meet after all of the time we had spent talking was breathtaking.

I had not been so nervous about anything since I had been in school. Sweaty palms, a dry throat and the jittery nerves were all in full force. Even speaking in front of hundreds of people was not as nerve wracking as meeting Susie for the first time.

The first awkward moments of nervous laughter quickly melted away into the first embrace and the first kiss. It was like we had known each other forever. The entire weekend was perfect. We spent time just walking around downtown Chicago and the sites and talking.

Being a totally high-class guy, I took her to the very chic Chicago hotspots. There was dinner at the Billy Goat and lunch at Gino’s East. We went to the top of Sears Tower and peeked between the outfield walls at Wrigley Field.

The moment she first told me she loved me will be forever etched into my heart. It was there in Chicago on a quiet afternoon. The most amazing time we had during the weekend were the hours we spent at Navy Pier. We simply sat at the end of the pier and watched the people and the boats, talked and realized that we wanted to spend more time together.

Leaving her at the airport was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Many tears were shed at the idea of leaving each other. I stood and watched her go through security and didn’t move until she was completely out of sight. More tears were shed as I walked away and back to my car. It was a long time before I could pull away from the parking garage.

The quiet ride home from Chicago gave me time to really assess how far I had come since I had first sent the e-mail smile to Idahogirl81. This new love which I felt had replaced so much of the hurt and loneliness and brought light to a very dark place in my life.

Since our meeting in Chicago we have only had the opportunity to spend a few more days together. And it has been nearly four months since we last saw each other. The time has been filled with e-mails and phone calls. We are looking forward to spending several weeks together this summer when I travel west to work.

We are hopeful for a bright future and are willing to allow God to lead us on our path together. Susie continues to be one of the best parts of my life and each day is made better by having her in it. I thank God for allowing her into my life and look forward to where this path may lead us.

If we are lucky we are allowed to love. For me Susie has allowed me to love again at a level which I did not think I could ever feel again. It’s amazing what can be started by a simple smile in an e-mail. Don’t underestimate the love of God or his ability to bring people in your life when you need them the most. For me it is Idahogirl81.