Encountering life, my daily journey

2012-01-28T14:04:00.001-08:00

To all of my Blog followers,

Today my father passed away after a seven month battle with pancreatic cancer. He was the one who gave me my passion for business and set a standard of integrity and hard work for which I hope I can live up to in my life. Thanks Dad, I love you always.

Stacey

I am one and my oneness can make a difference

2010-07-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

(I had the privilege of giving the gospel message at my new church last Sunday and wanted to share it here.)

What is God asking of you and of me? This is a question which I have toiled with most of my adult life. In fact, it has been the pursuit of responding to this very question which has brought me here to Idaho. That and the beautiful blond I met on the Internet.

It was an incredibly beautiful early fall morning in the Midwest, now nearly ten years ago. Like most mornings I was on the road early to make my first sales call by 9:00am. My stomach had been churning for weeks, a feeling of restlessness filled my body. Suddenly I began to cry. Just a few tears at first and then the sobbing began. I was crying so hard I had to pull off to the side of the interstate. With cars and trucks roaring past me, I sat there and literally broke down in uncontrollable tears.

God was working on me again. I was so confused, frustrated and angry. What was He trying to tell me? What did he want me to do? Why was I having such a difficult time understanding His plan for me? I began screaming, "God, what is it you want me to do?"

By most standards my life was good. I was married to the love of my life. We started dating in high school and had been married more than twenty years. I had two terrific kids. We were living in our dream house. My job was fulfilling and we had more than a comfortable lifestyle. I was actively involved in my church and a number of civic organizations. Life was good. So, why was I so miserable?

From a very young age I had felt God had a special calling for my life. I had survived spinal meningitis in infancy with no real complications. Despite what the doctors told my folks about the possibility of leading a normal life without disability if I were even to survive. I not only survived but also thrived.

The feeling of God calling me to do 'special work' was always with me. The ministry had intrigued me. But I was never sure if it was what God wanted me to do. I was not well equipped to study, never being a great student and I was an awful test taker. The idea of four years of college and another four in seminary just wasn't very appealing. So, just what was God's plan for me? What was he calling me to do?

Was I denying His call? That question certainly got me off the road on an early fall morning. It got me screaming at God for answers, to more clearly show me his plan, to give me a clear direction. Why was He torturing me with all of this? Why couldn't I be happy with where I was with my life? Then I began to ask why I wasn't more faithful and attentive to God. Why was I not answering the call?

In the ten years since that morning my life has changed dramatically. Many of those questions which I struggled have been answered. There are still many for which I am waiting the answer.

Like the seventy disciples in our gospel I have been called by God to witness my faith to those I encounter. And I am not alone—you too are called to Evangelism, to witness your faith. As Lutherans we can find such a thought disturbing and frightening. Many of us were raised as ‘head down’ believers. We are proud of our faith—just don’t ask us to share it with a stranger. We just aren’t comfortable talking about the “F” word, or to evangelize with others.

In the gospel Jesus called those seventy to go out and be disciples. In doing so he was calling them to minister through their actions as well as their words. The actions can be as simple as extending a smile to a stranger.

There is a story of a boy and his grandfather walking along the beach. The beach was covered with starfish that had been washed ashore. Every so often the grandfather would stop, pick up one of the starfish and toss it back into the ocean. After awhile the little boy said to his grandfather, “There are thousands of starfish on the beach. Throwing a few back into the ocean can’t possibly make a difference.” As the grandfather tossed another starfish into the ocean, he said, “It will make a difference to that one.”

I remember once traveling through Chicago’s O’Hare Airport. The flight I was on arrived late and people on the plane were scrambling to make their connecting flights, including me. I had five minutes to make it from one terminal to the next to make my connection. As I tried to make my way through the crowds, I saw a young girl in front of me who was weighed down with luggage and was just about in tears. I walked up to her and asked her if I could help with her luggage. I took the bags off her shoulder and she told me which gate she was going to. It was right next to mine.

We moved through the crowds quickly and got to her gate just as they were giving the last boarding call. She thanked me and got on the plane. I turned and looked over at my gate. My flight was delayed by 30 minutes. I had plenty of time. I couldn’t help everyone in the airport with their luggage that night, but to the one I did help, it made a difference.

I think the second thing that immobilizes us with evangelism is the thought that in order to be a witness in God’s mission field we need to stand on a soap box on a Boise street corner passing out Bible tracks, or walk down Main Street with a sandwich board sign that says “Repent!” on the front and, “For the end is near!” on the back. Well that’s not always the case. Sidewalk evangelism does have its place, and there are some people who are cut out to do that type of evangelizing. (I don’t happen to be one of them.)

I think the most effective form of evangelism we can offer is the way in which we live our lives, and by the example we set as Christians. I also believe some of the best forms of evangelism come in very small ways with random acts of kindness, like throwing a starfish back into the ocean or helping a distressed girl carry her luggage. That, my friends is how we can make a difference in the world, one kind act at a time.

In the Gospel reading today, Jesus said to the seventy upon their return, “I saw Satan falling from Heaven like lightning.” Jesus was saying that the Seventy were participating in the defeat of evil in the world. We too can participate in the defeat of evil in our world like lightning when you cheerfully welcome the new person who comes to church. I see Satan fall like lightning when you forgive the one who has wronged you.

There will be those who won’t believe, won’t accept and won’t want to hear or see God’s word. As Jesus told those he appointed, “whoever listens to you listens to me, and whoever rejects you rejects me, and whoever rejects me rejects the one who sent me.”

Jesus says to us, I see Satan fall like lightning from Heaven when your church serves meals to the homeless, or makes a quilt I see Satan fall like lightning from Heaven when you conduct a youth confirmation class and your youth join the church. I see Satan falling from Heaven when you plan a prayer vigil I see Satan fall like lightning when the church holds a family picnic and everyone invites a friend. I see Satan fall.

This past week we got a firsthand look at those called to serve in the form of three young day camp counselors. Much like the seventy, they came into our community to share the message of Jesus. They found acceptance among our members and our community. There were also those who offered hospitality in their homes and in providing meals much like those in our gospel who welcomed in the disciples.

The question becomes, how do we make Christ known every day? For some of us it may be speaking from the pulpit, for more of us it may be in sharing Jesus’ message through our works. For all of us, we are challenged to make Christ known through our everyday living.

My friends let us not be tricked into thinking that we can’t make a difference, because we can make a difference one small act at a time. May we get up from these pews today and go out into the world knowing that there is a great need out there. There is a world full of hurt and people are just looking for a ray of hope to get them through.

A challenge for the coming week—we have all heard the stories of random acts of kindness. In the coming week I would like to challenge you to consider a twist on this. I would like you to commit to random acts of faith. Each day make a conscious effort to do one random act of faith. It can be as simple as offering a pleasant smile to someone who has none of their own or picking up the phone and calling that one person who may need to hear God’s word the most. It might be providing service to a neighbor or hope to a stranger.

God has gifted each of us with special talents and abilities. He never intended for us to keep them to ourselves. What is the special talent or ability you have which can be used to glorify God in the coming week. Beyond that I would hope that putting yourself in the random acts of faith mindset would become a habit which would stretch beyond this week and it would become a lifetime habit.

The cool part in this is when we begin to individually make this a habit it becomes easier for us to collectively move to a mindset of service. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we became known as the church of random acts of faith? May we be like the seventy that make a difference in the life of just one.

Still more random thoughts

2010-06-04T19:52:00.000-07:00

The quality of the harvest is dependent not only on the quality of the seeds which were sown but on the care of the crop during the growing season.

In striving for perfection don't forget to enjoy the "good enough" moments.

Hope is the gift of coming through the tough times. As we read in Romans 5:3-4 "And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance prroduces character, and character produces hope."

A message calling one person to action is far more valuable than words which are heard by thousands but cause no one to respond.

Our most valuable possessions are not those which can be kept in a safe but those which we keep in our heart.

Sometimes it takes more courage to run than to stand and fight.

Here is where you get when you were trying to get where you were going.

Though the past is unchangeable, the future and its decisions still remain ahead.*

There is no better feeling than doing what you are passionate about and having it affirmed by others.

The toughest nuts to crack often contain the softest souls.

Walking through the fire cleans the imperfections and helps us to forge a stonger sense of our life's purpose.

A hug can say more than any number of words.

When we allow the urgent to get in the way of the important it’s time to reassess our priorities.

If you are unhappy about paying taxes there are plenty of places you can go where you don't have that privilege.

Elisabeth Elledge Martin I don't mind paying taxes, I mind overpaying to compensate for the government's intrusion into my life. Where can I go to not pay taxes? All I can think of is prison, or the grave. Have to say, I'm really baffled by your post. Is it April Fools Day? Well, I guess it kind of is! :-)

Stacey Friedlein My point is there are places where we would not have the opportunites to earn a living in a career path of our choosing, where we would not be able to freely spend our money for the things we desire. While I don't always agree with how government spends my taxes I am thankful I have a voice on who my representatives are. I may not like them or the decisions they make but I do have the opportunity to vote them out. There are many in this world who would give anything to have such a chance.

Elisabeth Elledge Martin I'm glad you clarified, I was worried there! :-) Your post only mentioned the privilege of paying taxes. And now that I think about it, when we die, if we have much to leave behind, the gov't sticks it to us then, too. So, that leaves prison, and I'm not even sure about that. Then there is the 47% of Americans who don't pay income tax......

Christi Long Stacey we are blessed to live in the USA. Elizabeth, I agree... what about the 47% who don't pay taxes..And... I feel if our government really cared about what the people want, they would listen and TRY to make decisions that please the majority of the population (not just the parties). That means that our choices and voices are becoming more and more limited and we have less say so in where this tax $ goes.

Jody Taylor-Smith I'm with the ladies here... Imagine that. 47% of people pay ZERO (zip, nada, nilch) Federal Income Taxes. AND many of those folks actually get money BACK from the Government! Our personal tax rate is approaching 60+% and it's time to go. And the taxes just keep going up and up and up. Redistribution of wealth is wrong. Making rich people poor doesn't help anyone. It just creates a nanny state and a huge welfare situation.

Christi Long Look, I'm not cold hearted and I'm sad every time I pull up to an intersection and see someone asking for $, BUT I agree that redistribution of wealth is wrong. Where is the insentive to get off your behind and MAKE something of yourself when you don't have to? I agree helping people get back on their feet but to enable people for what often I agree helping people get back on their feet but to enable people for what often ... See Moretranslates into a lifetime of not having to go out and work hard to pay their bills is wrong. When times are hard, you buckle down and figure it out but some people, expect "someone" to help them out without wanting to work hard and it's the entitlement attitude that really burns me up.translates into a lifetime of not having to go out and work hard to pay their bills is wrong. When times are hard, you buckle down and figure it out but some people, expect "someone" to help them out without wanting to work hard and it's the entitlement attitude that really burns me up.

Elisabeth Elledge Martin I agree with you, Stacey, in that we are blessed to live in what is, for now, the greatest country on God... See More’s green earth! I’ve lived in Europe and Asia and America is truly the last/best hope for this world – economically and militarily, both of which are being radically destroyed. I believe the American people are waking up to exactly what they voted for in 2006 and 2008. We’re ready for CHANGE alright! The current party in power dreams of turning us into another Europe. When I lived in Germany my husband worked with two men whose wives had been unemployed for 18 years and still received compensation from the government each and every month. EIGHTEEN YEARS! Each had different reasons for losing their last jobs, one was fired, one had quit and neither story was due to an unusual circumstance. The citizens pay 50% to 60% in taxes all in the name of feel-good compassion – free health care and a lifetime of unemployment, which has been over 10% for over a decade. Businesses don’t even have the freedom to set their own hours of operation. No store is allowed to remain open later than 8pm on a weeknight, 4pm on Saturday, and it’s illegal to be open on Sunday – and this, all in the name of EQUALITY! Sadly, to today’s liberal equality does not mean bringing the lower class up closer to the upper class. They are punishing the upper class to bring it down to the level of the lower class and in the process the middle class suffers, as well. I say, “God Bless rich people!!! I’ve never gotten a job from a poor person.” I’m not preaching at you, Stacey, I guess I’m really just rambling! From reading your stuff, I think we’re on the same page regarding most issues. You just say it much more eloquently than I! ;-)

Robert Wilkinson I Dont mind paying taxes,what I mind is getting charged more for Less and Poorer Quality Services, While everybody gets a RaiseThats what I mind

Elisabeth Elledge Martin Robert, that's kind of a different topic, but I agree with you. It's the entitlement mentality. You would LOVE it here in Malaysia. They have a thing called "Best Effort". You pay for a higher quality of service and they will "try their best" to give you the standard you paid for. Guess what happens when they fail (and they usually fail)? HA HA HA, they TRIED! It's mind boggling!

Robert Wilkinson I know there are a lot of places with limited freedoms and/or poor. But Even in the U.S.A and Canada The middle class is falling away They have Both Realized what a real great idea free trade was I Never understood how it was a good idea,People told me things will be cheaper and I said Ya but how will you pay with no job I said it before and I say it If the Government was to go to the Bank as a private company they would never get financing But they have unlimited Financing in me and you,no matter how bad there business plan is

Elisabeth Elledge Martin In fact, if they were a private company doing business as they have been doing it Is it being the best for which we should strive or just being better than we are.

The bright light of a man's success may blind onlookers to all of the setbacks and failures which got him to this point. The true measure of which is learned on the journey and not in the final destination.

It is hard to move forward when you are constantly looking over your shoulder at past failures.

Curiosity is at the heart of learning.

Judging a book by its cover is like throwing away the center of an Oreo cookie. You missed the best part.

But it's not just learning things that are important. It's learning what to do with what you learn and learning why you learn things at all that matters.*

Random Daily Thoughts

2010-02-22T10:56:00.000-08:00

Collaboration may mean you have to share the credit. But it beats losing any chance of success.

Be thankful for those who are willing to do the things you are not.

We should all embrace the pride felt as our country's flag is raised during the Olympic medal ceremony
Dan Baiotto BINGO, DITTOS, GO USA

Accepting change is good for the soul. Even when it is forced on you by the Facebook gods.
Peter Alcivar Who moved my cheese?
Jan Sexson Great little story!

Expect a miracle every day. Just don't expect it is going to be the one you are looking for.

A sunrise means you have a brand new chance to achieve your heart's desires.

When you aren't the best, your best will have to do.
Frederick Hill Great!
Andrew Harry Hale That's a good one

It is not about what you know but what you are willing to learn.
Fred Hinegardner You know this? And if you do, what does this do to your willingness to learn? I often wonder about this - whether it's truth lodged in a paradox or a strategy pretending to be wisdom propagated by con-men who are trying to coax the clam open far enough to steal their pearl. I probably shouldn't make generalities about it.

The great part of walking in the fresh snow is not that you can see from where you came but that what lies ahead is limited only by your imigination and ambition.

Each day is a blank slate waiting for you to make your mark.
Jeanie Purcell I always like your "thought for the day" and look forward to them. Thanks!
Rick Carr Write boldly! & dittos to Jeanie's comment!

Anticipate Christmas morning like you are five years old!
Lori Bailey Simkavitz I still do! :)

Don't just do something. Stand there! Take time to enjoy the season.
Nancy Hoover Amen!!!!

The most inspiring words mean nothing unless they are followed by action.

Pause and reflect on the true meaning of the season.

If you seek truth a single voice whispering a message of love can drowned out a million voices screaming hatred.

Be the light in someone's darkness.

Accepting ourselves, as we are, may make us feel better in the short-term but causes us to fall short of what we are intended to be.
Kimberly Coombs oooh, that's a good one

Give freely of the thing you treasure the most and it wlll come back to you many fold.

Give Thanks.

God is good.
Paul Davis any particular god, there seem to be so many ?
Stacey Friedlein The God who loves us unconditionally and asks nothing in return.
Paul Davis I would expect most gods to offer similar things otherwise how would they expect people to follow them ?
Stacey Friedlein The best we can offer is to love others by his example.
Paul Davis But I as a freethinking scientifically minded person would require proof and that is not offered
Sany Zogg amen!
Paul Davis So no recommendation as to a good variety of god to follow, shall I just pick the one that offers the best deal in terms of ever lasting life, plenty of virgins in heaven and no unhealthy interest in choir boys etc by the henchmen/priests that keep order & force poor impressionable children to believe in an imaginary with the threat of burning in hell if they don’t Such a hard choice - thinking for ourselves vs child abuse
Stacey Friedlein Paul, don't worry God will find you and when he does you will understand his unconditional love for you.

Brain cramp..I got noth'n.
Stephanie Deveau hold that thought...
Susie Botkin Laskey That's my thought everyday!! Love you!!

If you dread Thanksgiving dinner just think how the turkey feels.
Luise Winhold likes this.
Jim Hilgedick If you are a turkey ... November is the last month of the year.
Lotus Wit The turkey says thank you.
Louise Winhold We always say, "roast in peace" ;)

Thank you to all who have served to protect my freedoms.

Live in the moment!

Be careful not to close off any path. You never know when you may need to utilize it again. Sometimes it may even become a shortcut to your destination.
Susie Botkin Laskey Great thought!!
Lotus Wit yess, I agree.
Kelly Klekamp-Smith Wow, that's a powerful one. Thanks for sharing!!

Let the candy consumption season begin!

The person who is most adamant that their opinion is correct is usually the one who is wrong.

We honor the beliefs of others by acknowledging we can differ in thought but respect each other's opinions.

Enjoy the nature of the season. Spend some time under the canopy of a red golden maple tree and take in the magnificent smells and cool breeze. It may just be the energy boost you need.
Cindy Powell You defintely are referring to your home..I have several inches of snow in my yard and maples don't grow here! Lol

The best honor you can bestow anyone is to call them your friend.

If you expect it…earn it

2010-02-03T09:47:00.000-08:00

When I was fourteen I got my first real job. I’ll never forget how proud I felt to put on the red and white checkered shirt, the uniform of a man who was ready to make his way in the world. A man with a job!

Woo hoo, earning a paycheck, financial independence; I could buy anything my heart’s desire. At least anything a dollar forty-five an hour could buy me. I was on top of the world—today Giovanni’s Pizza, tomorrow the executive suite on Wall Street. I had it made!

Running down the stairs and heading for the front door I was summoned by my dad. Umm, OK. What could he have to say which could be more important than me getting started on my first million. You see, my dad was never one of many words. When they did come it usually meant you had been caught in some misbehavior which mom decided dad needed to address. This couldn’t be good.

So as I turned and headed for the den my mind was racing through the list of indiscretions which I may have been involved. I was already formulating excuses and explanations when I walked into the den. Here it comes I thought. I said something clever like, “Make it quick dad, I have to get to work.”

He replied with a stern, “Sit down.” Uh oh, this must be serious. Sitting down meant the lecture was coming. Oh brother, didn’t he know I had places to be, fortunes to earn. Couldn’t this wait? He too sat down. Oh geez, what had a done which caused him to set down too?

He looked me in the eye and said, “Stacey, my son.” My son? He had never said that to me before. He must think I had killed someone or set the school on fire. Then it began

So my father of few words turned to me and said. “Son, I am proud of you. You are headed to your first job. It’s a big responsibility. People are depending on you and I want to give you but one piece of advice. If you expect a day’s wage give them a day’s work.” Wow, I thought. There is no punishment, no lecture on past behavior. Instead he had laid down a challenge—a challenge to give my best.

These words were profound. They came from the man of few words. He was more of a ‘by example’ kind of dad. Words just weren’t his thing. Maybe it is why these have stuck with me for more than thirty-five years. Though he didn’t need to say them, he did. His example of hard work and of earning your way was evident in everything he did.

This example of self reliance and hard work, now punctuated with this challenge of earning my way would become guideposts for me. I remind myself of this challenge each time I start a new client project and these are words I have shared with my own children. Though for my own kids, they have always had their dad feeding them with words of wisdom and challenges. This is one more in the stack.

But for me these words have been more precious than gold. They came from a man who lived them more than spoke them. Words I carry with me every time I go to work—then and now.

As I walked from the den I felt relieved that all of those indiscretions which raced through my mind earlier had been forgotten, at least for now but I knew the day of reckoning for those would come soon enough.

For now I reveled in the idea of making my fortune, of financial independence. If I earned it!

Farewell to Faith

2010-01-10T17:14:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrated the life of my church. It was the final worship service of my small church, Faith Lutheran Church. There were tears and laughs, hugs and handshakes and in the end we know God had indeed been served well in the twenty years of Faith Lutheran Church.

For me this has been especially profound. It was another ending in a list of endings for me this year. While many shed tears I could not.

As I reflected on the church closing I found the shards of it's past lying among the shards of so many things which I have held close in my life. But also in that pile of brokenness I see hope.

It was especially fitting for me today that our Gospel came from Luke the third chapter. It read in part, "His winnowing fork is in his hand, to clear his threshing floor and to gather the wheat into his granary; but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire."

Allowing God to sweep away the pain and brokenness I can celebrate in the abundance of the harvest. I can move forward with knowing that what remains is the hope and promises God has given me. Along with my fellow church members we have been gathered up by God.

Many of those lessons came from my church family and I will cherish them always. And endings only means there are opportunities for new beginnings and I look forward to all God has in store for my life and the lives of my church family.

Getting a fresh start

2009-12-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

It has again been a number of weeks since I wrote in this blog. This time has been a time of transition and emotional healing for me. Moving past the difficulties of my recently ended marriage and my struggling business has been much more difficult than I had anticipated.

The holiday season has been tough. I have had a lot of time alone and too much time to think and be sad. Most of the activities I would have usually been involved I have pulled away from. It was just too hard to put on a happy face and do all of the charitable things which always meant so much in the past. My hope is this will be the last Christmas when I feel this way and I can get beyond myself and look to helping those who have greater needs.

God has called me to this place and in that nothing has changed. I firmly believe I am following his plan for my life. He continues to show me glimpses of a bright and promising future.

The brightest part is a future with Susie. She continues to be my grounding point as I work through my anxiety and depression. Frankly, I don’t know how I would have gotten through this past year without her in my life. She is my shining star.

In fact, I have decided to move to Idaho in mid-January. It is a chance for a new start. A time for some emotional healing and most important Susie and I will be together. We are excited about starting a life together.

My hope is that I can also bring new energy and focus to my business. It like many small businesses has felt the full effect of a poor economy. I am hopeful we will begin to see better days for us all in the coming year. In turn I can become a better father to my kids and a better friend and better business person. Most of all I want to be a more obedient servant to God’s will for my life.

So as 2009 comes to an end I feel a sense of relief and look forward to the coming year with a renewed sense of hope and promise. I have trusted God to lead me this far and I will continue to trust in him to lead me in the future.

A faith of love

2009-11-26T08:59:00.000-08:00

In this time of financial turmoil, uncertainty about the future and with many filled with a feeling of hopelessness it is more important than ever for each of us to reflect on our faith. The world is indeed a frightening place. Every day brings more news of a war, of needless death, of financial ruin. These are indeed hard times.

Adding to all of this angst are many faithful people espousing their faith as the way to true relationship with God. They force their beliefs that there is only way to be in relationship with God, their way. My feeling is, “Wow, how arrogant is that?!”

Many of the problems we face as a society today can be traced to these arrogance of beliefs. There are those who are so wrapped up on their own way of thinking they are unable to even hear, let alone process, new or different ideas. When these type of people are in roles of authority or decision making their impact can be devastating to a free thinking society.

At the very core of this problem are individuals or groups espousing their beliefs as being the only way we can receive God and his love for us. What I believe we need to understand is we have a direct connection to God. He is with us and knows each of us individually.

While corporate worship and relationships with other people of faith are essential to our spiritual growth it does not replace our one-on-one relationship with God. There are many who would have us believe that we can only be in relationship with God if we follow their man-made rules of piety and believe only as they say we should believe.

Don’t get me wrong, theology certainly has its place in helping us interpret the Bible and other books of faith and to raise our understanding of God. However, all of this is subject to interpretation and it is up to each of us to seek God and his plan for our individual lives.

I grew up in a very traditional protestant understanding of Christianity. Recently I have found that many denominations and creeds have so narrowed their focus that they have excluded the possibility that others can worship and believe in God in any way but their own. I find this very troubling.

If we are to survive as a society and grow as faithful people we must become more accepting of others and their beliefs. We cannot be so pious to believe our way is the only way. God is not Protestant, Catholic, Reformed, Jewish, Muslim or any other creed. He is God and the bottom line is he has accepted all of us as his children.

He has given each of us the freedom to worship him in the way we see fit. We are only to accept his love. That is it, nothing more nothing less.

So as you sit in your church, temple, or synagogue or wherever you worship your God this week ask him to open your heart to be accepting of the differences in beliefs of others. He is the God of love the unconditional love which encompasses all of us. God is love.

Thoughts and insights

2009-10-20T07:04:00.000-07:00

The best part of the flu is not having it.

Don't let anyone punch holes in your happiness.

Charlotte Jones Stringer I like that thought! Thanks!

Margie Schulz AMEN.. :-)

Nancy Hoover That is a great thought. Thank you!

Creative freedom comes when we are unencumbered by the concerns of our everyday lives.

Kimberly Coombs I know what you mean

Being in the majority does not mean one's opinion is necessarily correct or in the best interest of the whole.

Chris Mann On the other hand, it does mean you just voted in a democracy.... :-)

Stacey Friedlein This is true if one takes the conviction of their opinion to the polling place.

Michael D. Davis Good food for contemplation. Thanks for posting Stacey!

Chet Coonrod That's why it's good that we live in a Republic... not a democracy. When gov't is by LAWS, the majority cannot silence the minority just because they don't like what they hear

If your shoes are uncomfortable first check to make sure they are yours.

Enduring another's journey helps bring perspective to our own path.

Share kindness with a stranger.

Amy Mears I did @ 7:30am today in the McD's drive thru---she was a little short on $ for her order........:O)

A man with a plan is a man who can.

How we judge ourselves is often how others will also judge us.

Christine Cousart I hope not!

Without hard work we wouldn't know the joy of leisure.

Todd Nichols It does take hard work!

When we allow our worries to overcome us, they can manifest into the reality we fear.

Tara Cuccia This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes "What you fear, you create" Its so true! Thank you for that reminder.

Kristy Krokos Williamson Thanks I needed that!

Stephanie Deveau have you been reading the fortune cookies again?

Stacey Friedlein No, but I may start writing them

Real strength lies in one's ability to leverage the strength of those around them to achieve the desired goals. The use of such strength can build bridges or drive wedges. Standing by passively usurps an individual’s ability to do either.

When you choose to blaze your own trail there is no wrong direction.

Larry Perez I love this!

Wl McCoy Good qoute...go out in a blaze of glory....haha

Fred Hinegardner I'm all in favor of blazing your own trail. I've made a career of it. Yet, I must say I've wasted a lot of blaze making a lot of wrong turns.

John Mireles Of course if you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.

Fred Hinegardner Yes, John, but won't doubling your speed and multitasking compensate for being lost?

Fred Hinegardner ...there's an easy layup for you, Stacy.

One's faith has nothing to do with their theology and everything to do with being in relationship with God.

Jessica Bell I couldn't agree more! Great thought. ♥

Miracles happen every day. Acknowledgement allows us to live with great expectations.

Debra Goddard Nice thoughts. Have a good day, Stacey!

Rebecca Houlihan Love this.

What is on the outside may never show the turmoil within.

We fondly remember the past, not because of some romanticized nostalgia but because we survived.

Change is inevitable. Predicting how we deal with it can be impossible. Controlling it should be left to a higher power.

Finding success often comes from growing out of our failures.

Some people write good books and come up with great quotes. I have decided to write good quotes and see if I can come up with a great book.

It is time to stop rewarding ourselves for our self-conceived good deeds and search the next opportunity to do good.

Rules should be made for inclusion not exclusion.

Erin Tyler likes this.

Fred Hinegardner An example, please?

Stacey Friedlein The rules say I cannot provide you with an example.

Fred Hinegardner Hehe - Nice, Stacey. You made me smile. I like constructs that fold back on themselves, like a flower that becomes double-petaled.

Don't mistake being busy with being productive.

Kerri Lydell learning this!

Melissa Atchison Rentfro Oooh that is good

When conservatives and liberals are so extreme they have to look the opposite way to see each other it is time we all reassess our views.

In forgiveness we gain freedom.

Cindy Powell that is sooo true!

Don't live in fear of evil but embrace the love of God.

Riz Crescini Amen, brother!

Fred Hinegardner ok

A discontented heart can be settled by discovering the ache and moving head-on in achieving what the heart desires.

Marriage epithet

2009-10-02T13:58:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday of this week my divorce was final. After more than thirty-two years in a relationship I always felt would last a lifetime it is now over. There are a million emotions running through me.

I am mourning the death of what I once held closest to my heart. A marriage to the person I always considered my best friend. She was my first and only serious girlfriend and we seemed destined to spend our lives together. We had what many would have considered the perfect life. We dated for four years before we married then waited seven years before we had our first child.

On the outside and even in my mind's eye it was a good marriage. However, reality shows we had really grown apart in the last several years and had lost touch with each other and no longer shared the same hopes and dreams for our future.

As with the failure of anything there are feelings of heartache, sadness and disappointment. It is amazing how two who were once so close could grow so far apart. Allowing external things destroy what was once such a vital relationship. During the year since we separated I have tried hard not to assign blame or become angry. Believe me this has been the most challenging year of my life.

In this past year I have gone from having a well paying job, a start up business which was doing well, and we were living in the house of our dreams. Today my business is struggling, our dream home has been sold, I am now living alone in an apartment and I am very lonely.

I feel some guilt for not working harder to make the marriage work. By the time I tried it was too late. I feel guilty that my children have to endure the pain and heartache of their parents’ divorce. I feel guilty that I was not cut from cloth that could simply get a job to earn a wage but that I needed to follow my dream and where I believe God intended me to be.

I feel pain from a broken heart and a severed family. Her family was always very dear to me and my love for them will never change. Her dad was like a second father to me and saw me through a lot of personal trials over the years. Her mom was always loving and supportive and very concerned for our happiness. I feel in many ways that I also failed them.

I have failed. I have failed to keep those sacred vows I took to keep, to love, honor and cherish. It is in this failure I feel the most despair. Often I have asked myself where it all began to go so bad and I can't answer. I know I must share and take blame for where I failed. I ask my children, my family, my friends, my God and most of all I ask Kelly to forgive me for my failure. Most importantly I know I have to find a way to forgive myself.

I am supposed to feel happiness. For the fact the ordeal of the divorce process is over I am happy. For a chance to move forward with my life I am happy. But to think I can simply close the book on thirty-two years of my life is not possible. Much of whom I am and who I will be in the future I owe to Kelly and the time we were together.

The products of this marriage were two wonderful children. Now young adults, they have endured this past year in a very mature and loving manner. I will always love them with all of my being and I pray they will grow to know the love I have felt and they will learn from the mistakes we made.

In the days and weeks ahead I expect my life will be very different from my past. I will need to start to have new dreams and goals. God has gifted me with so much and I will continue to seek His will for how I am to use these gifts in service to him and my fellow man.

The healing process for me has begun. The writing of this note is the beginning. It is the first time I have been able to write anything in several days. To me it is a sign that God is at work in helping me to heal. Over the next weeks and months I would ask you who read this to say a little extra prayer for me, for Kelly and for the kids that we may all heal.

There will always be a special place in my heart for this relationship and the life we were allowed to share. I wish only happiness for Kelly and hope she finds what she is seeking in her life. She is and always will be special to me. To Kelly, be happy and remember ILU.

I know all of this is a process. For me I probably have made it more difficult than I needed but it is who I am. So, my dear friends seek happiness and when you find it hang on to it for all you are worth.

As I seek a new life this is the lesson which I am taking with me. To hold on to those who are closest and not let anything keep me from finding new happiness.

Even more random thoughts

2009-08-13T04:28:00.000-07:00

The perspective of one's world is measured by the expanse of their mind and their willingness to comprehend what it contains.

When you find the thing you do best. Pursue it with all of your heart, all of your mind and all of your soul. And trust God to lead you on the most wonderful journey of your life.

Fred Hinegardner The thing I do best is sitting on the couch in front of the TV. I'm not very good at what I SHOULD be pursuing, but expect I'll get better at it as I go. Not many started out good at what they do. What I'm pursuing at the moment is what I'm worst at. I pump air into my flat tire instead of overinflating a good one.

Tonya Burnett Davis Thank you for this!

Heather Jahn Amen!

Those who scream the loudest generally know the least.

In the busyness of your week don't forget to set aside some time for yourself.

Holly Walker like this.

Judy Roberts Thank you. Even setting time aside to think of your maker.

Tina Feten Thanks for the reminder Stacey!

A simple smile can change your life forever.

When we can learn from those with whom we do not agree, we grow in our own understanding and opinion. To ignore opposing opinion is to remain ignorant in why we believe the way we do.

John Scott Yes,,,,

Acknowledge your failures and overcome them with persistence and a never die attitude.

Bruce D. Roberts And, keep two dollars in your pocket for coffee.

Lisa Francescon YES!!

God speaks to my spirit and I know his voice.

Gary Silber Thank you for a great thought to start my day. Blessings Gary Silber

Happy 16th to my son Kyle.

Holly Walker SIXTEEN????? ALREADY???? Seem like he should only be 7! Time sure passes quick - huh?

Fashion question two. Brown or black shoes with navy blue pants?

Inku TheInku Yo The important thing is that your belt match the shoes. Black shoes? Black belt. Brown shoes? Brown belt.

Angela Cartwright Gottsch black. However, if you like the retro salesman look - white.

Valerie Morrison I would say brown and yes the belt needs to match.

DeAnna Dimmitt belt and shoes do need to match but navy blue is a cool color so it goes better with black than with brown.

Georgina Ghionis Black shoes - with a black belt :)

Giving your child more freedom to make choices should come only after you have taught them responsibility.

Fred Hinegardner Whenever my kids asked for the freedom to make their own choices, I generally let them. That was how they learned responsibility. Both are now successful and have never screwed up yet.

Cyndi Hall-Wilcox As much as it may hurt at the time they grow wiser even by sometimes making the wrong choice. You just have to be there to support them and know you did right because they learned a lesson from the choice.

Fred Hinegardner Thank you, Cyndi. You sound experienced.

Nothing allows more free thinking and perspective than when you are pushing a lawnmower.
Fred Hinegardner Riding one's even better. I keep paper and pencil in it.

Ignoring those who can help you most is akin to deciding you want to fail.

Fred Hinegardner Yep. Problem is, people don't usually ignore those they THINK can help. Their "decisions" are always against those who they think CAN'T help. People fiercely defend the way they've always been doing things, and when that way starts to fail, they defend it even harder.
We keep doing what we've always been doing and praying for a different result.

Are the color of my socks supposed to match my pants or my shirt? This always confuses me.

John Lo Ur tie

Ella Carlson Pants. I was educated on this by a snooty salesman when I took my son for his first suit.

Jim Roshan Your underwear - just in case you're in an accident and you have to go to the hospital!

Sam Gardner The main thing is... the socks have to match each other! And stay hidden beneath your trouser legs anyway. But relax, there will always be a fashion Nazi handy to inform you of your error.

Stacey Friedlein Sam, I have trouble matching my blue and black socks. What do you suggest.

Louisa Larson Don't worry about it! If you can't tell, most likely other people won't be able to either. At least that's what MY husband tells me when I'm agonizing over pairing his socks.

Cindy Powell Match your pants or go crazy and buy some striped or polka dotted socks with bunnies...all bright colors and wear them!

Stacey Friedlein I do have a pair of Bugs Bunny golf socks and a pair of Road Runner Socks, Guess they would go wtih about anything.

Scott Tidmore Stacey... some things are better kept secret..

David S Pickel The color of my sock is often an issue at my house. "Quit looking at my feet and look me in the eye"

Tracy Michelle Silva Depends on the rest of the outfit.

Suki Brown are your socks the same color? I'd go with one matching the shirt and one matching the pants, then you are covered!

Stacey Friedlein Suli, That sounds like a plan. To everyone else, thanks for your input.

Fred Hinegardner We're supposed to wear socks? Dang. No one tells me anything.

Make the most of every opportunity. Tomorrow it may be gone.

Face the morning sun and feel the glory of a new day.

Kimberly Coombs There is no sun here, just rain...But there is the SON! Happy Sunday ;0)

When a door closes a window opens. Be prepared the window could be on the ninety-third floor.

Bruce Mayhill That is why I always wear my cape!

Bruce D. Roberts That sounds like it was spoken from experiance....and you are so right.

Stacey Friedlein Yeah, I am getting really good at building the parachute on the way down.

Wl McCoy Jump! Jump!...haha

Fred Hinegardner Go ahead and jump. God will catch you

The best gifts often come with no fancy wrap, ribbons, or bows.

Lori Bailey Simkavitz I like that!

If I can make a positive difference in the life of just one person today, I have served my purpose.

Tina Marie Vance-Crnic I like this one.....need to steal it today! (For my ststus too!)

Patience and perseverance can be difficult attributes but the results can be amazing. Pray to God with conviction and he will answer your prayers.

Lisa Francescon So true. Thanks for the wonderful words to start my day.

Becky Homich Thank you for posting this thought. It is just what I need to read today.

When you have a fire on your tail you can either douse it out with water or throw on a little gasoline and allow it to be a motivator.

Give the gift of kindness. Do a random act today for someone you do not know.

Sharma Kaefer Ferrugia Amen!

Some things are just not worth the investment. Don't let desire outweigh common sense.

Cyndi Hall-Wilcox Common sense seems to be lacking these days.

Scott Tidmore I think I traded my common sense in on something... don't even remember what it was now...

Riding the pigs

2009-08-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

The boy’s were outside playing like most days they spent on their grandparent’s farm. Grandpa had gone to town to deliver some milk to the creamery and make a stop at the local tavern.

He had found it was easier to go by himself to town. This way there was no chance Stacey or any of his brothers would be able to tell grandma about the stop at the tavern. When he did take Stacey, who was now eight years old, he would set him up on the bar and buy him peanuts in exchange for keeping quiet about the side trip.

On this day Stacey and his twin were bored. They had tired of playing in the hayloft and did not feel like going up to the mound to play. It was then the twin had an idea. He said to Stacey, “Let’s go chase the pigs in the hog lot.

Grandma had already gotten after them for chasing the chickens and disturbing the hen’s roosts. She scolded them because if the chickens got riled they would not lay properly and there would be no eggs to sell.

With little encouragement Stacey decided the twin had a good idea and it would be fun to chase the pigs. Along with the pigs were a few old sows that were farrowing the newborn piglets. The boys not realizing the danger of chasing pigs in the hog lot, with the sows and their newborn piglets, were having a great time. That is until grandma caught them.

Apparently sows become very mean and very aggressive when they have newborn piglets. The old woman came running out the back door of the house. She was attired in her usual paisley printed cotton dress and a pair of work boots. To say she was yelling would be an understatement.

She grabbed each boy by the scruff of their necks and dragged them out of the hog lot and into the house. The boys had never seen her so angry or upset. She grabbed the switch off the back porch and started wailing on the twin, something she had never done before. He immediately started to cry and after a few swats she let him up.

Now it was Stacey’s turn for the switch. The old woman laid him across her knee and began whipping him with the switch. But Stacey refused to cry. The more grandma spanked him the more he resolved not to cry. This made the old woman even angrier and she continued to wail on his backside but still no tears or screams. Soon the old woman gave up and decided there was no point in any more spanking.

It was the one and only time grandma ever spanked the boys, though they probably deserved it often. She was driven by her fear of what would have happened to those boys if one of the sows had gotten a hold of them. A lesson both boys learned that day through the business end of the switch and the love, care and concern of grandma.

Change is God's way of helping us to grow

2009-08-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

The days have passed and turned into weeks. There is much activity in my life. I have been apartment hunting and will be moving in a couple of weeks. Adjusting to a new lifestyle and less space will take some time but like all things I will make it work.

My business has begun to gain some traction and I am fully optimistic in its future success. Today I begin interviewing candidates for the newly created Business Development Manager. I am encouraged by the quality and number of applicants and feel comfortable the right person is among them.

God continues to lead me on this path. Every time I get to the end of a path a new direction appears. The trail is often not marked but I step forward in the knowledge God is with me.

It was a year ago last Sunday when I first sent Susie an e-mail with a smile. It is a smile which has had a profound impact on who I am and she has given me so much encouragement as I move forward with where God is leading me. I truly love her and am grateful for every day we are given together.

The distance remains an obstacle for us. Sixteen hundred miles makes for some loneliness but has also given us time to really get to know each other and build a relationship through words and understanding. We both believe God has a plan for us and will let us know when the time is right for us to be together. His grace is what sustains us and allows us to be patient.

Where there is God there is hope, love and a sense of purpose. The good news is God is everywhere and all we have to do is reach out and He will sustain us. Blessings to each of you in your own journeys.

Images from my trip out west.

2009-07-27T19:21:00.000-07:00

I will let these speak for themselves...

Breakfast at grandma's

2009-07-26T05:21:00.000-07:00

From under the covers Stacey peeked out to see if the sun was up. In the downstairs of the old farmhouse grandma was already up. She could be heard quietly moving around the old kitchen starting breakfast.

The farmhouse stood in the afternoon shadow of the Mound…Grandpa’s mound as it was known to Stacey and his brothers. The Mound was a place of great adventure and hours of entertainment for him and his brothers.

It was late in January and the cold of winter permeated the unheated bedroom. Stacey knew once his feet hit the linoleum floor it would be a mad dash to get dressed and downstairs into the warm kitchen.

Grandpa was coming in the back door from feeding the livestock and doing the morning milking. He was whistling his merry tune. Grandpa was a tall lanky man. Having lost a hand in an auger accident when he was young he could still outwork most any man.

Grandma was a short, plump farm woman. She rarely got off the farm except to go to town once a month or so to buy a few essentials and pay a few bills. Everything they needed they raised on the farm. Pigs, dairy cows, chickens, sorghum, fruit trees and a large vegetable garden provided food and the money from selling eggs; sorghum molasses, and milk gave them the small income they needed to sustain themselves.

On this morning there was a new snow which meant Stacey and his brothers would spend their day sledding. The sledding on the Mound was the best. A good ride would take you a quarter mile or longer. The boys would always compete for the longest ride.

Back in the kitchen the family began to gather as grandma made pancakes. There was nothing quite like grandma’s pancakes. Very thin and as big as a dinner plate. Made on an old cast iron skillet the room was quickly filled with a haze of smoke from the lard used on the skillet. Each grandson would wait their turn as the cakes came off the griddle.

The cakes were piping hot and made perfect with a lather of butter and the sorghum molasses which was squeezed and cooked from the sorghum cane grown on the farm the previous fall. One pancake would fill most adults but for these grandson’s it took two or three to give them the fuel they would need for a day of activity on the farm.

Finding my way home

2009-07-22T03:38:00.000-07:00

I have been home from my trip to the the northwest for about ten days. The six weeks I was gone allowed my to gain some great perspective on my life.

Convinced more than ever of God's call for me I have been allowed to more clearly define the role he is asking me to play. In addition to teaching and consulting I feel a sense of speaking more vocally of God's work in my life and how His love works in the lives of others.

Over the next few weeks I will be working on my speaking tour for 2010. It is an ambitious schedule of forty-five cities. I have come to recognize I am to not only teach my business classes but am to take time to witness my faith to those I encounter.

As I travel on this tour my goal will be to seek out and fulfill these opportunities. Whether it is one-on-one or speaking to a large group. In each city I travel I hope to find an opportunity to present a program on personal values, goals and spiritual gifts and how together they can form the foundation for anyone to find their own level of success.

Please, if you would be interested in having me speak to you or your church, study group or business association. Contact me. There will be no charge for these courses and I will make them available in the cities I travel through the remainder of this year and in 2010.

God has blessed me with this gift of teaching and has challenged me to use it to deliver this incredible message. Please let me share it with you and those you love.

Sharing more thoughts

2009-07-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

Total honesty when met with suspicious minds can sometimes be cause for misinterpretation of the message being delivered. Speak truth always and allow it to find its own path to reality.

Places in the brain give us the knowledge to do good work. Places in the heart allow us to embrace good work with compassion and in the end find true happiness.

When the clutter gets in the way of the goal it is time to get out the broom and clear the path.

Llew Wenzel at 6:40am July 14
too deep this time of the day.....LOL

Melissa Franklin Kahn at 6:41am July 14
i need cawfee before i can fully process this (or find a broom, really)

Steve Baker at 6:45am July 14
Need coffee to.

Audrey Wancket at 6:49am July 14
just a moment-can't find my mouse...

DeAnna Dimmitt at 7:02am July 14
Here here

Stacey Friedlein at 7:04am July 14
Hey Steve, after you have had your coffee will you let me know how I can reach you in regard to your interest in my last post. Either e-mail or call (contact info available on my contact page.) Thanks

Jennifer M Chance at 7:07am July 14
that is totally where i am at! and i thought i was the only one. thanks!

Tina Feten at 7:39am July 14
Welcome to my life. Lol.

Stacey Friedlein at 7:47am July 14
Maybe I should start selling brooms.

Carrie Driver at 9:27am July 14
Maye I should get a broom......

Fred Hinegardner at 6:17pm July 14
So... to make a path, you make a path? That's okay for pre-morning coffee, I think.Yes, I meant that in a nice way. I'm just always trying to clarify things.

Sue Berry Rakes at 8:06pm July 14
That is exactly what my writing 3 pages of dribble EVERY morning does for me...clears out the useless babble that locks me up during the day!

Real strength comes in recognizing our weaknesses and being wise enough to ask for help when we are no longer strong enough to carry the load.

You don't have to be the first horse out of the gate just the first to cross the finish line.

Wl McCoy at 9:42pm July 11
And sometimes it's pretty good if you just finish the race.

God exists in all places. This came to me while stanidng on Pike's Peak with my kids. He was not only on top of the mountain but in every valley and village, every ravine and rock, there was no place I could see where God was not already there.

Cher Campbell Salo at 7:59am July 10
Awesome!!!

Cyndi Hall-Wilcox at 8:21am July 10
How true!!

Roger Shackelford at 9:25am July 10
Love this!

Joan Strunk at 9:48am July 10
Amen Stacey. When one looks at all the awesome, beautiful things that our Holy God created, how is it that some people just can't accept that He Is!

Patty Ham-Peeck at 12:58pm July 10
I'm soooo glad that God is everywhere that means I never have to be without HIM!!!

There is sadness when children are no longer children but great pride in watching them become wonderful young adults.

Cyndi Hall-Wilcox at 10:36pm July 9
Been there and doing that.

Sharon Ellermann Chandler at 11:28pm July 9
Living that sentiment every day at my house.

Penny Wishes at 2:30am July 11
When they are little we ask them to keep their dirty hands off the walls. When they get older we miss their tiny little prints on our walls!

Take time with those you love. It will become some of the most cherished memories you will ever have.

Freedom is never free. Get down on your knees and thank God for all you have been given. Happy Independence Day. God bless America and God bless you.

Vernon Chambers at 10:20am July 3
I do this everyday. I really appreciate your comments and your friendship.

Freedom is a privilege and like any privilege it must be earned. Reflect on those who earned the freedoms you enjoy and ask yourself what you can do to protect those freedoms for future generations.

Dreaming with no action is dying. Dreaming and action are living with purpose and fulfillment.

Kimberly Coombs at 10:23am July 1
Sometimes hard to get motivated into action for your dream!

Stacey Friedlein at 10:47am July 1
While I don't intend these thoughts to be promotions for our services. Providing motivation and plan creation is what we are all about.

The luxery of a nap should not be assigned only to the very young or very old.

Bill Kreke at 9:26am June 30
AMEN!

Ruby Duncan at 9:34am June 30
like like like like!!

Karla Taminger Jenkins at 10:15am June 30
you know, those who do nap are more pleasant to be around:)

Becky Homich at 11:53am June 30
I need a nap now.

Randy Malta at 12:00pm June 30
man that makes me want one now!

Steve Baker at 1:47pm June 30
Some of our greatest presidents always took a nap...Harry Truman and Ronald Regan...maybe I will go take one and dream about being president.

Lisa Francescon at 2:36pm June 30
I agree!

Our vision improves when we look for the good in others.

Sometimes you need to step back and gain prespective before you can move forward.

Fred Hinegardner at 2:13pm June 26
Perspective gained is always good. Not always necessary to step backwards to do so, but this provides great cover if retreat is on the way.

No matter how little we may have, we always have something to give. We are rewarded for our kindness and generosity not our bank account.

Melanie Burnell Rapp at 9:20am June 25
I love all of your postings! Especially this one - so true!

Stacy Lincoln Dade at 9:28am June 25
Lord this is soooo true!

Fred Hinegardner at 12:59pm June 25
My sister gave everything she had to the Lord. She was mighty pleased about that for a few days and fairly happy for several days after that. I took milk and stuff over to her kids for a while. Her preacher had a new car, a beautiful home, and a very blond wife.
Patience is always easier to suggest than it is to be.

Stefanie Blue at 8:26am June 24
that's for sure!

Jae' Madison at 8:32am June 24
I may have to use this as my status

Lisa Francescon at 8:53am June 24
So true!!

Become a Prayer Partner on my new blog

2009-07-11T16:21:00.000-07:00

http://itsprayepartners.blogspot.com/2009/07/become-prayer-partner.html

Continuing my daily thoughts

2009-06-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

Find peace in chaos, love in hatred, calm in chaos, hope in loss and God in all things.

Margie Schulz at 7:23am June 23
Thanks for sharing... I like!! M

Kimberly Coombs at 7:34am June 23
You have some great thoughts for the day!! I hope you don't mind, I will have to use this one too ;0)

Julie Vriesema at 7:40am June 23
very nice

Darryl Anne Shinaberry at 7:43am June 23
Beautiful...thanks

Stacey Friedlein at 7:50am June 23
Thank you all. My motivation each morning is to share some perspective of things happening in my life. I am grateful to those of you who comment and find meaning in them for your own lives.

Stacey Friedlein at 8:25am June 23
I have posted all of these on my blog http://staceyfriedlein.blogspot.com/ along with some other writings. I would encourage you and for you to invite your friends to join.

Give the full measure of yourself in all you do. Doing anything less is cheating yourself and those who are counting on you.

Lisa Francescon at 8:25am June 22
I really enjoy your thoughts for the day! What an awesome way to get things going!!

Stacey Friedlein at 8:35am June 22
Thank you Lisa, I am considering publishing them in a small booklet or calendar.

We are placed in this moment, in this time and and in this place for a reason. Live in the moment and the reason will be revealed.

Claudine Malecki Jackson at 8:30am June 21
I truly do believe this!

Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery but innovation will give you the truest measure of fulfillment.

Fred Hinegardner at 9:36am June 19
I've always been fascinated by the oxymoronic nature of the phrase "sincere flattery."Plato despised imitators, ranking them among the lowest of the low. He would have ranked them lower still, but for some reason he held murderers in even more contempt. He lumped actors in with the other imitators, which speaks to the stark contrast with our modern culture and its idolatry of actors.

Inspiration from desperation can be the best motivation.

Put aside those things which keep you from achieving your goals.
Cindi K McDaniel at 8:13am June 17
I like the way you think!

Defining Image Photographs at 9:11pm June 17
I like you Stacey

Stacey Friedlein at 6:58am June 18
Thanks, I am flattered.

When we live strictly by the calendar and the clock we miss the opportunity to enjoy the spontaneous moments of life.

Becky Homich at 8:15am June 16
This is so true.

Tom Burtchaell at 12:07pm June 16
Thats not true. I've schedueled spontanious moments for next Saturday between 2:00 and 4:15

If you ever doubt your creativity is a gift from God, visit Yellowstone and see His creativity at work.

Hard work beats intelligence every time.

Gary Woods at 9:52am June 12
and hard work done intelligently is the best!

Stacey Friedlein at 9:57am June 12
Exactly!

Gary Woods at 11:10am June 12
:-)

You can always find the answer in The Word.

The only tools you need to succeed is what is between your ears and what is in your heart.

Over structuring our lives chokes out the ability for us to take pleasure in the moment. Find spontaneity in your day and allow yourself the freedom to enjoy what is happening here and now.

Tiffany Izatt at 1:54pm June 9
Good thought! Thanks for sharing.

John Scott at 4:14pm June 9
i need that in my life

The difference between childish and childlike. Childish is when we we look outward in desire and want and express the need to have it our way. Childlike is when we look outward with wonder and awe and are open to accepting others and to share with them freely. Challenge for the week: Be childlike when you really want to be childish.

Jen Turner at 8:26am June 8
great thought, thanks Stacey

Barbara Jones Adelman at 9:49am June 8
I love this Stacey - It's a great reminder for me right now - Thanks

A Father's strength

2009-06-21T06:34:00.000-07:00

As a son I wanted nothing more than to emulate my dad. He was strength, wisdom and the voice of reason. As a father I want my children to find strength in my weaknesses, knowledge in my failures and hope in their own dreams as they watch me follow mine.

To Dad thank you for allowing me to walk my own path and to fall and fail. It is in falling and failing I have grown and become strong, independent and gained my own wisdom. Knowing you are always there for reassurance has helped make this journey and will continue to help as I face difficult choices which lie ahead.

To my kid’s never be afraid to try and fail. Life is in the journey and the next great chapter of your life could be around the next corner if you are simply willing to take the next step. You cannot know the joy of success without the knowledge of failure. Give of yourselves to those you care about and never be afraid to say,”I love you” most often it is all you need to say.

So Dad, Kayla and Kyle, I love you. Happy Fathers Day!

Be love

2009-06-12T11:33:00.000-07:00

In the heart of every man and woman lies the need and desire to love and be loved. In the moments we allow our hearts to control us we find the gift of love.

God grants us such gifts to share and enjoy. If we simply allowed these gifts to lie dormant we too would die. Seeking love means we are willing to give love. It is in the moment we give love that we truly experience the love God has intended.

One without condition or pretext, one with total commitment and one with which we are anxious to share. And when that love is returned to us we feel God’s presence most closely.

So give love freely and without attachment, give it to those who need it most. Those who may be the most unlikely to receive love for it is in that giving which we are most gifted in return.

In situations and circumstances where there is no love is your opportunity to bring love. Your love may make the difference in someone’s life. It may offer the difference between a life of hopelessness and a life of promise.

You have been given the ability to love as a free gift, give it freely and often. You are called to be God’s hands and feet. Do not be afraid to reach out and step up as God has intended. Give love life in your daily encounters. Be love as reflection of God in your life.

Pray for this each day and allow God to use you as an example of his love.

Still more thoughts

2009-06-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

God comes through when we need it the most. Never doubt his love and caring.

Dennis Pilapil at 6:58am June 5
totally agree with that Stacey...proved that a gazillion times! :-)

Mari Darr-Welch at 7:01am June 5
Amen to that!

Becky Homich at 9:24am June 5
This is so true.

Sharon Ellermann Chandler at 4:30pm June 5
Thank you.

Excuses are a lazy man's way of not committing to excellence.

Fred Hinegardner at 9:38am June 4
Sorry, my wife had me busy

Listening and hearing are two very different things. We can hear any sound but to listen means we have engaged our mind into what we hear. When we listen we learn and grow in knowledge.

April Fletcher at 10:55am June 3
Thank you Stacey, this is very much what I have been trying to vocalize. It is my thoughts exactly, I'm just horrible with words!

Be patient and allow God to direct your life today. It could become a habit that will change your life.

Aggie Villanueva at 9:22am June 2
Amen.

Christy Headrick Bonifacio at 9:26am June 2
i don't know you, but i really needed that today.

Stacey Friedlein at 9:27am June 2
Christy, sometimes God puts people in our lives, even strangers, to deliver his messages.

Sandy Ward at 9:46am June 2
So true!!!

Teresa Paynter Howell at 10:36am June 2
Love it!

If every great journey begins with a first step. Then when the first step takes you over a cliff into a pitch dark ravine you know you are in for a journey which is some kind of special. Let go, hang loose, and live the experience for all it is worth.

Fred Hinegardner at 7:08am May 30
Somehow, hehe, I agree with every word of that. Having strawberries on my Cheerios this morning and continuing to implement the goal I set as a teen - to make sure the last breath I draw is thru smiling lips.

Do not compound a mistake by not being forthright about the error.

Stacey Friedlein at 7:21am May 29
This thought comes to you in regard to the junior senator from Illinois for his unwillingness to tell the truth about his trying to pay the former governor for his senate seat.

Jack Corzine at 3:52pm May 29
Honestly Stacey, he really had no intention of paying that to Bloggo (yeah right baby!). Don't you just love the excuses coming out of his mouth these days. Just shows how stupid our representatives think that we are. The unfortunate fact is that unless we decide to do something about it all we will reinforce that attitude and prove them right!

When you find love hang on with all of your might.

Fred Hinegardner at 8:49am May 27
Wait. I had a poster from the 60's that said just the opposite. Dang it, now I'm confused again. Should I hang on or let it go? Then there was the corollary poster that ended with "...hunt it down and kill it."

Susie Botkin Laskey at 8:51am May 27
I'm hangin'!!!! :)

Stacey Friedlein at 8:52am May 27
Fred, Hang on, hang on

As long as you stay one step ahead life can't run you over.

In Flanders Fields and in graveyards across our country lay those who gave you the freedoms you enjoy today. Take time from your picnic and recreation to remember those who have given you this privilege.

The tiny mustard seed holds life. Imagine how much more the seed of your spirit holds for you.

Silvana Frammartino at 7:08am May 23
Love your little tidbits....keep them coming :)

Stacey Friedlein at 7:14am May 23
Thank you

Fred Hinegardner at 11:25am May 23
I just ate a fresh-grilled brat with hot spicy mustard. Feeling very spirited while dripping sweat onto the keyboard.Wait, you're speaking metaphorically again, aren't you!Never mind.

When you find value in yourself others will then find value in you.

More random thoughts

2009-05-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

The highlights of life often come as a result of our darkest moments.

Tammy Sheehy Muecke at 9:14am May 20
I hope thats true

Tina Marie Vance-Crnic at 9:25am May 20
Awesome.....I used it again! Needed that this week....month....hmmmm.....year!!!! Thanks Stacey!

Sheila Estelle at 9:52am May 20
Woa.... that is a deep thought. It may take me some time to think about it! :)

Sheila Estelle at 9:54am May 20
I have actually seen this played out in my life recently.Thanks for sharing this truth.~ Sheila Estelle

Stacey Friedlein at 10:34am May 20
Tina, You are welcome. Glad I could help.

Jen Hester at 11:04am May 20
Living that theory right now :)

Tina Marie Vance-Crnic at 11:10am May 20
So am I ....Jen....except the highlights have yet to come!

Sheila Estelle at 1:06pm May 20
Hang in there, Tina. The highlights will come with time. :)

The thorn in your butt may have your own hand attached to it.

Traci Robbins Autry at 7:07am May 19
Good one!!

Fear can either act as a pulverizor or a great motivator. Either we become dust or knock off the dust and move forward.

Leslie Shay Portrait at 8:09am May 18
Preach it to me Stacey! I need it today.

Mark Rose at 9:30am May 18
"the only thing we have to fear is fear itself"~FDR

Fred Hinegardner at 11:01am May 18
Keep climbing or get stepped on

World peace is a great concept but will never happen until we each reconcile peace within our souls.

Linda Susan Castle at 7:52am May 17
this makes sense

Fred Hinegardner at 11:02am May 17
...and then we'd have to find new ways to thin the herd and new rules for achieving survival of the fittest. Hope we don't find a new Stalin and a new Hitler for those tasks. Could be fun, though, given the right committee. As for me, I don't work well on committees.

Linda Susan Castle at 5:03pm May 17
me either

There is no greater joy than celebrating the success of a child.

Peggy Morsch at 9:01am May 16
Behind every successful child is someone who has been an example. Way to go Dad!

If you are living for the weekend you are missing a lot of living.

Shelly Ivy at 11:42am May 15
nice!

Shannon Wright at 5:47am May 16
so right, i used to have a job where i could not wait for the weekend to come. Now that i am doing something i love, i hardly even know what day it is most of the time. weekend or weekday it doesn't matter:)

Linda Susan Castle at 7:54am May 17
this is sooo true

In faith we find hope, in hope we find love, in love we find life.

Fred Hinegardner at 11:53am May 14
oh...okay
Show 4 more comments...

Stacey Friedlein at 2:21pm May 14
Ah, but when words are used to motivate action then they are no longer empty rhetoric but become fuel for the hungry and they feast.

Fred Hinegardner at 3:11pm May 14
...and they learn to feast on Twinkies and Diet Coke, which are equally popular, and will reward the giver with accolades, that they will give more that they still crave.

Thought for the day. In faith we find hope, in hope we find love, in love we find life.

Sandy Weeks Key at 9:05am May 14
Thanks Stacey. Great reminder.

Fred Hinegardner at 10:12am May 14
Thanks, Stacy - because of you, I just found my best pair of pliers in Rita's hope chest. Been looking for them for two years. Love ya, man.

Stacey Friedlein at 11:19am May 14
Fred, I am glad to hear it. I guess sometimes in hope we find our pliers.

As pointed out by my friend Fred. When expressing an idea, sometimes the power of the club is mightier than the power of the pen. So using this approach...Thought from yesterday. Nobody owes you a damn thing. Use what you have and make it work.

Trish Barthorpe at 7:29am May 13
couldnt' agree more.

Fred Hinegardner at 9:31am May 13
wow

Nellie Guerrero at 3:10pm May 13 via Facebook Mobile
wow I tell our students at middle school that ALL THE TIME! :-)

Jay Be at 6:34pm May 13

Thought for the day. The only entitlements we have are the gifts from God. Everything else we must earn.

Mark Rose at 7:06am May 12
What do we have that isn't a gift from God?

Kendra Johnson Stoltz at 7:17am May 12
♥

Stacey Friedlein at 7:45am May 12
Mark, It is my point. God gives us all we need. It is when we believe we are owed more that we fall short of his gifts.

Fred Hinegardner at 9:55am May 12
I know people who literally sit and wait for God to provide."God will provide," they say. "The preacher told me so this morning."I know you mean well. At least you added in your original update that some things need to be earned. Many don't even add that.

Stacey Friedlein at 10:14am May 12
Fred, What I was subtlety getting at is pointing out we are owed nothing by anyone. The whole sense of entitlement by people in the workplace, in the marketplace, in government and in the welfare lines makes me crazy.

Fred Hinegardner at 2:08pm May 12
I totally agree. And you said it SO WELL this time! The flowery speech stuff is wrapped up in pillows, so the message that SHOULD slap someone up side the head gets too muffled. They get to feel good from the nice-sounding words. They get to pass the responsibility buck off onto God. All this and it's free. They don't even have to buy drugs to feel good. Plus it has the added benefit of self-righteous sanctimony. Can't go wrong with lovely sounding sentiments - especially on FB

Mom.

Curtis Null at 6:26am May 10
Well said!

Fred Hinegardner at 12:25pm May 10
Your best one yet.

Thank your mom for her unconditional love and for not killing you when you were driving her crazy as a teenager.

Jessica Padgett Bell at 10:03am May 9
I need to show this to my currently 13-year-old... :p

Jay Be at 4:51pm May 9
hehehe...if only my 4 kids know how they drive me up the wall!^^came very very close a few times to committing mass murder...

The love of a mother is the closest we can experience the love of God. Accepting us with all our faults and failures, rejoicing in our triumphs and happiness, without need for reason or approval. God lives in the love a mother.

Mark Rose at 8:10pm May 8
God loves us like the Sun loves the Earth, Giving everything including life itself, and never asking for anything in return.

Laura McNeely at 8:43pm May 8
Oh, Thank God! If heaven is like getting along with my mother.....I'm in good shape!BTW, let me publically say 'thank you, mom. you're So-oooo awesome....thank you!'(I'm sure that doesn't cover it...but that's the point, right? A love deeper than our words have found meaning to express.... an awesome thought in itself...)

Kelly Munce at 7:01am May 8
is that pre teenage hood?.. or after they have left home? hehe

Stacey Friedlein at 7:08am May 8
I guess mom's always have the ability to inflict the wrath of God on their kids. In a loving, accepting way of course. :)

Jessica Padgett Bell at 7:58am May 8
I needed this today Stacey... thanks. :)

An anxious day

2009-05-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

Today is a day of great anxiety. In a couple of hours I will no longer be a home owner for the first time since I was twenty years old. We are closing on the sale of our home. Coupled with my impending divorce and and the current economy it is an anxious time.

With the relief of the sale comes some uncertainty about our individual futures. For me the uncertainty is an uneasy feeling of not being settled. There are still so many things to find resolve in my life. Completing the divorce is next and I hope it can go smoothly and we can both move on in positive directions.

Beyond that and a very clear understanding that all of this is in the hands of God my future is not as clear. As I prepare to leave on an eight week teaching tour I am not sure where I will be living when I return. My landlord has given me the opportunity to stay where I am but I am not sure it will be the best decision for me.

The next couple of weeks are filled with a tremendous amount of work as I prepare to leave. There are so many details to be finished; course preparation, packing (not only myself but my office and all of my teaching materials). Working with my program hosts to be sure they have all the information they need to promote the classes and the detail parade marches on.

I remind myself to rely on God but when you are in the moment it is sometimes hard to see. Anxious—yes, concerned—a little, faithful—always.

Idahogirl81

2009-05-10T19:45:00.000-07:00

It had been more than two months since I had told my wife I was leaving. For weeks I had been in a sad and painful funk. I knew there would be heartache in the weeks ahead. Little did I know it would be the worst pain I had ever felt in my life?

Searching for some solace I was feeling desperate. I had been in counseling for some time and it felt I had gone as far as I could. I was alone and lonely. In these lonely hours I began to scour the internet for some answers and some reassurance I had made the right decision.

Googling the term ‘Christian divorce support’ I came across a website for single Lutherans. Initially I was looking for some ideas of how to best cope with my new situation and the transition from married to single. The website was intriguing. Being a life-long Lutheran it seemed to be a good place to start.

After reading a few posts and articles I came across a section to post a profile. My initial thought was I wasn’t ready for this but something deep inside told me to give it a shot. So with some cautious trepidation I posted a brief profile about myself. From there I browsed through the profiles which matched the criteria I had entered.

After looking through a half dozen profiles there she was, Idahogirl81. According to the personality profile she was accepting, agreeable, diplomatic, adaptable, considerate, easy-going, even-tempered, good listener, and inventive, kind, patient, pleasant, satisfied and tolerant.

Divorced, a couple years younger than me, liked country music, independent, punctual, a non-smoker, a regular at church! Intriguing, then I took a look at the profile picture, reddish blonde hair, cute smile and a Santa Mickey Mouse hat. Hmmm, okay she has a sense of humor. More points in her favor.

She was looking for someone with an education, who was independent, a non-smoker who was self-motivated, and happy with himself! Okay so I was miserable at the moment but deep down I was content with where my future was taking me.

Again, with a little apprehension, I sent her a smile. Having not been involved in the dating scene for more than thirty years I wasn’t sure what to expect. What followed was a smile back. Wow, Idahogirl81 had replied, she had really replied.

So the ball was back in my court so I decided to chance it and send another e-mail. This time with a short note. The next day I received a reply from Idahogirl81. This began a couple of weeks of e-mail correspondence. We learned we had many things in common and shared interests. And now I finally knew her by something other than Idahogirl81. Her name was Susie and she lived in south central Idaho, some 1500 miles away. This explained the Idahogirl81 moniker.

It wasn’t long before we realized it would be more productive to talk on the phone and we exchanged phone numbers. The first few phone calls were the opportunity to get to know each other better. There were the lists of questions. I found it amusing that she had a list of questions each time we talked. It became our game of Twenty Questions. Everything from the very mundane to the very personal, no topic was off limits.

In Susie I began to find someone in whom I could confide my most inner thoughts and feelings. She was caring and supportive and listened with patience and genuine concern. There was no judgment, just someone who listened and cared.

Over the next several weeks we would talk for many hours on the telephone. On average four to six hours per night. We began to discover many things about each other and that there were many things we have in common.

We began to bond a strong friendship and mutual admiration. How do you begin to have such strong feelings for someone you have never met? From the beginning we felt it may be destiny as the website we originally met had been taken down just a few days later. Fate, chance or God working in our lives, I want to believe the latter.

God has seemed to place us in each other’s lives for something special. For me, Idahogirl81 had come to me at a time when my life was a train wreck; she had given me hope and was the bright spot in an otherwise bleak future.

After ten weeks of long telephone calls and daily e-mails it was time to meet. We decided she would fly to Chicago and we would spend three days together to see if there is any chemistry to further spark our relationship. Well the first spark was the moment I saw her come down the escalator at the airport. I will never forget the nervous smile on her face. Neither of us had ever been in a long distance relationship before and to finally meet after all of the time we had spent talking was breathtaking.

I had not been so nervous about anything since I had been in school. Sweaty palms, a dry throat and the jittery nerves were all in full force. Even speaking in front of hundreds of people was not as nerve wracking as meeting Susie for the first time.

The first awkward moments of nervous laughter quickly melted away into the first embrace and the first kiss. It was like we had known each other forever. The entire weekend was perfect. We spent time just walking around downtown Chicago and the sites and talking.

Being a totally high-class guy, I took her to the very chic Chicago hotspots. There was dinner at the Billy Goat and lunch at Gino’s East. We went to the top of Sears Tower and peeked between the outfield walls at Wrigley Field.

The moment she first told me she loved me will be forever etched into my heart. It was there in Chicago on a quiet afternoon. The most amazing time we had during the weekend were the hours we spent at Navy Pier. We simply sat at the end of the pier and watched the people and the boats, talked and realized that we wanted to spend more time together.

Leaving her at the airport was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Many tears were shed at the idea of leaving each other. I stood and watched her go through security and didn’t move until she was completely out of sight. More tears were shed as I walked away and back to my car. It was a long time before I could pull away from the parking garage.

The quiet ride home from Chicago gave me time to really assess how far I had come since I had first sent the e-mail smile to Idahogirl81. This new love which I felt had replaced so much of the hurt and loneliness and brought light to a very dark place in my life.

Since our meeting in Chicago we have only had the opportunity to spend a few more days together. And it has been nearly four months since we last saw each other. The time has been filled with e-mails and phone calls. We are looking forward to spending several weeks together this summer when I travel west to work.

We are hopeful for a bright future and are willing to allow God to lead us on our path together. Susie continues to be one of the best parts of my life and each day is made better by having her in it. I thank God for allowing her into my life and look forward to where this path may lead us.

If we are lucky we are allowed to love. For me Susie has allowed me to love again at a level which I did not think I could ever feel again. It’s amazing what can be started by a simple smile in an e-mail. Don’t underestimate the love of God or his ability to bring people in your life when you need them the most. For me it is Idahogirl81.

Random thoughts

2009-05-07T04:54:00.000-07:00

Thought for the day. If a child trips and falls we run to their rescue. If an adult trips and falls we stand by and laugh. Often the adult needs as much compassion as the child.

Peter Alcivar at 7:47am May 7
SNL got a lot of mileage out of one stumble by Gerald Ford, one of our most athletic presidents.

Jeanie Beury Purcell at 7:52am May 7
Wow, excellent thoguht. Thanks for sharing.

Stacey Friedlein at 7:54am May 7
Right, it was a great skit. But I was speaking more metaphorically.

Staci Severin Landis at 7:58am May 7 via Facebook Mobile
Amen! I think it says a lot about the person's character how they respond when others struggle, fail or fall down a bit. We've experienced some of the uncompassionate...worse when it's family! But, then, if I'm the one who falls and I get treated poorly...it goes back to me on how I will respond back. It's a cycle of learning...over and over and over again. But, we've also experienced wonderful people, too...and we are grateful for their support.

Peter Alcivar at 8:00am May 7
My first wife once told me a story about how she and her cousin went on a luxury cruise with their grandmother as teenagers. They were walking somewhere and their grandmother lost her footing and fell. As a senior citizen, she had recently received training on how to land so as to avoid breaking a hip or other injury (I got the same thing in martial arts training, obviously for different reasons). Well, their grandmother landed correctly, and the two girls cheered. Onlookers were horrified at these two disrespectful teenagers who were making fun of an old woman falling, which could not have been farther from the truth.

Thought for the day. The value in who you are is defined by your ability to bring value to others.

Symona Wood at 11:48am May 6
My 8 yr. old daughter experienced this very lesson this week...she tried out for a school play, did not get a part. She was quite sad....I explained to her that even though she was disapointed, she should go to the 1 child in her class and congratulate him on his recieving a 'part'....I told her it would not be easy, but worth it....the next day ... she did. When she came home she told me how much better she felt and that after doing as I had instructed, she nearly forgot how sad she felt and in place became happy for her friend.....btw...the boy just looked at her, confused I'm sure, and walked away...oh well...lol
Rose Black at 6:44pm May 6
so right!
Khara Plicanic at 11:25pm May 6
Great message! :)

Thought for the day. Give a smile and a wave to a stranger. You might just make just make their day.

Peter Alcivar at 12:44pm May 5
I tried that and all I got for my trouble was a restraining order. :-)
Laurie Lozano at 1:13pm May 5
I got 'the finger'. :0
Will Price at 1:21pm May 5
Mine waved back and smiled too... never mind, it was a mirror.
Fred Hinegardner at 1:48pm May 5
Yesterday, someone in a car beside me did that to me. I hit the bumper of the car in front of me. If that was you waving and smiling like a dang fool, stop it - yer causin trouble.

Thought for the day. In life as in football when all else fails, punt.

Fred Hinegardner at 10:24am May 4
...or sell the football on ebay and turn a profit.
Vernon Chambers at 10:36am May 4
I never understood pro football.....inspite of all the big bucks those guys make, they still insist on fighting over that one football! Why don't they wise up and go buy there OWN ball? Like I said, I never understood football.
Fred Hinegardner at 11:05am May 4
They fight over every little thing. They fight over one little quarter before the game even starts. Hockey is better - they get to fight with sticks.
Richard Cooper at 10:10pm May 4
Yes Fred, and they add a degree of difficulty by fighting on skates.

Thought for the day. If there is no hope, there is no future.

Thought for the day. Success come to those who are willing to fail.

Fred Hinegardner at 8:54am May 2
I was never willing to fall. I fell multiple times, but never liked it much, and never did it willingly. Some modicum of success game my way in spite of my lack of cooperation.
Stacey Friedlein at 10:10am May 2
I believe understanding the lessons which come from our failures are what allows us to succeed. The key here is in the learning and unwillingness to repeat the mistakes which allowed us to fail.
Fred Hinegardner at 10:38am May 2
Ah.

Thought for the day. Listen to your brain but follow your heart.

Loreen Thurman Liberty at 9:27am April 30
Trying so hard to follow this.... the brain is just used to being in control!
Jenifer Mowery Samaha at 10:01am April 30
So true. thanks.
Fred Hinegardner at 10:26am April 30
...so I'm to ignore reason and rational thought? And what's the good of listening if you don't do anything about it? Listen but ignore? - that sounds like a stubborn teenager.We are given both reason and emotion for a reason. The trick is moderation of both.
Stacey Friedlein at 10:34am April 30
Iam just in a very different place with this. When we follow our heart we are following our purpose in life and we trust a power beyond our own to guide our thought.
Barbara Jones Adelman at 10:39am April 30
what if it has gotten us into bad places previously?
Stacey Friedlein at 10:44am April 30
In that case we may have been misinterpreting what it is in our heart. You notice I did not say ignore your brain. But it is your heart which helps you choose the best path.
Stacey Friedlein at 10:50am April 30
To Fred again. I don;t think I said that you should not use your brain. The brain are not mutally exclusive of each other or we would not have both. A mature heart has learned from life experiences and allows those experiences to direct emotion.
Fred Hinegardner at 11:09am April 30
Stacy, the heart does indeed help us choose the proper path. The operative word, though, is "help."The other really nasty problem with discussions of this sort is that so many of the words are at best poorly defined, and so they end up meaning anything people want them to mean. Worse yet, they often become misleading and will take people into bad places.

Thought for the day. Engage the brain before you engage the mouth. Otherwise what comes out might be crap.

Kylie Recla Banks at 10:50am April 29
Very True
Melissa Denham Pfannenstiel at 11:09am April 29
LOVE this!
Sheila Rutledge at 3:57pm April 29
Stacey please repeat this to me many times. I have this disease where my filter is missing!

For the second time...Thought for the day. Attention Wal-Mart shoppers, there is a sale in our portrait studio today, 187 prints for $4.99. Make you cringe? Then why are you shopping there for items you could purchase from the small business owner down the street? What goes around comes around. Great diialogue this morning, looking for more comments.

Randy McNeely at 8:24pm April 28
Stacey, I agreed with you on this that is why I have not been there since Christmas.
Allen Austin at 8:27pm April 28
The pictures are still over priced!
Lindsi Jones at 8:53pm April 28
barf..
Travis Cossel at 8:56pm April 28
Nothing wrong with shopping at Wal-Mart. If I need staples or a light bulb or a bunch of bananas there's really no reason to pay more somewhere else. I think the distinction comes with a business that provides more than just a product like everyone else. To be honest, there are people out there that are perfectly happy with Wal-Mart pictures ... and you're never going to convince them to spend more for a better product. Not everyone is your customer, you know?
Tony Cooper at 9:00pm April 28
'Zackly Travis. There's no mom and pops nearby that sell what I need for less... and none of them are personalized custom products, either. I'm not competing with WM... if you're a WM portrait client, you probably aren't mine, and were never meant to be. On the other hand, if you are my client, you'll likely never want to be a WM client again. :)
Jack Corzine at 9:02pm April 28
nope, sorry, I take my own pictures and do the cropping and touch up on the computer. Sorry Stacey, in general I do agree with you but if it is something that I can do I will. There is one thing I do wish to say though on this subject. That is simply that each and EVERY small business owner has a responsibility to provide the very best personal service available. Otherwise it makes the easy way of taking it to someplace like Walmart more appealing to people. I've been burnt by a small business photographer and it does make you much more wary of placing what can amount to much more money into someone elses hands (granted this is a rare occurance).
Stacey Friedlein at 9:17pm April 28
I appreciate everyone's comments. Here is a challenge for the small business owners. Next time you are heading out to do your shopping think about whether the items you are going to get can be purchased locally. You might be surprised.I totally agree the Wal Mart customer is probably not your client but this is not the point of this post. The original reason for asking this question was to get small business owners consider the double standard of wanting clients to use their services but who may be looking for the cheapest solutions to their needs. If you don't feel you can afford what you are selling it makes the selling proposition much more difficult. I plan to write more on this topic in the future.Again thanks to everyone for their input. You can read the entire thread and post replies on my blog at http://inthespiritconsulting.blogspot.com/
Defining Image Photographs at 9:18pm April 28
Walmart is not union. They help big industries cut the jobs and saleries of workers at other stores such as Fred Meyer, Alberston's, Target and Safeway. If you have ever worked for a grocery chain, you would understand how hard the work is and that the wage is not enough for what you do. If workers get their wages cut do to WALMART....do you think they can afford to spend money on photographers????? SERIOUSLY. Shop Union and protect our our towns.Good for you Stacey.
Stacey Friedlein at 9:24pm April 28
One final point. I really did not intend for this to be a dialogue about Wal Mart as much as a discussion on the mindset of the small business owner. However, everyone's comments are appreciated.
Barbara Jones Adelman at 9:26pm April 28
Hey Stacey - this is kind of timely - I attended an event for ISU tonight and looked around at all the other small business women in attendance, met or got re -aquatinted with many and realized that this network of support and personal relationships is not only the beauty of our city, but also the connections that will grow my business - I should not expect their support if I do not attempt to support them. My goal for the rest of the year is a campaign of one on one support of local business and fund raising efforts in order to be a vital part of the community= even though the time and effort may be a little more, the benefits both to my business and my spirit I believe will be great (and cost effective)
Travis Cossel at 9:29pm April 28
Grocery workers aren't underpaid .. I've worked in the industry and the work isn't all that hard. There are certainly much more difficult jobs out there that pay the same or less (including my current job). The bottom line is that I would bet that for most of us, Wal-Mart employees are NOT our target demographic .. just like Burger King employees aren't our target demographic. This idea that I should pay more for something somewhere else to somehow better support our towns is bunk.
Stacey Friedlein at 9:41pm April 28
Travis, I am concerned with your comments. If you are in business you should understand the value of doing business with other small business. It is good and healthy for you and for them. Discounting people based on their employment is also short-sighted
Travis Cossel at 10:23pm April 28
I do understand the value when the small business is providing something that a larger business cannot. But if the big business sells a light bulb for $5 and the small business sells them for $15, and the transaction just involves me receiving a light bulb, then it makes no sense for me to pay 3 times as much just because someone wants to run a small business and sell light bulbs for $15.I'm an advocate for working with other small businesses when it makes sense. Just this week I paid a small business $35 to fix a sprinkler, even though I could have bought the parts and done it myself for $5. But if a small business isn't doing anything extra for me other than just charging me more, why would it be sensible to pay more for the same exact product? It doesn't.
Jodi Mattock Walsh at 10:26pm April 28
i think you're making a valid point Stacey. Sometimes it's not possible to avoid the large chain stores but sometimes it is. i try to patronize the small nursery that's behind my house even though i could get cheaper gardening stuff at Lowes but i think it's important to keep these little businesses around. as for walmart- i've never had pictures taken there but from what i've seen from any studio like that, i'm not impressed. but i do consider myself in business to help the walmart shopper. why should only people who have hundreds of dollars to spend get nice pictures of their family? i couldn't afford that so it never occurred to me that i had options outside of walmart and in many cases people don't. i'm not saying everyone has to go this route but i feel like since i have the means to do it, i'll keep my prices affordable for the walmart shopper and hopefully give some hardworking families the opportunity for a nice set of pictures.
Karen Sumner White at 10:30pm April 28 via Facebook Mobile
I couldn't resist posting something on this topic. The items I purchase at Wal-Mart may be items that I can purchase at a local business. However, how intelligent a business person would I be if I didn't look for the best deal on an identical item? The point should be that WalMart cannot sell the identical product that I create because I make a point to separate myself from other photographers, and certainly could never even be remotely compared to any click and grin studio anywhere! Create something that no one else can, create the desire and "need" with your marketing, build your reputation for unsurpassed service and they have no choice of where they go to get that product. This is the solution!
Travis Cossel at 10:31pm April 28
As for discounting people based on their employment, my comment was directed towards Defining Image. She said that if grocery workers don't get paid more how can we expect them to buy our product. My point was that I don't. In general, they simply aren't my target market. Does that mean I turn someone away just because of where they work? Never! But it also doesn't change the fact that very few of them will ever pay for my services.

Julia Gerace at 9:14am April 28
around here? nope - can't think of one.... for gifts and trinkets, yes, I do go to privately owned places, bookstores too, dance shoes - absolutely, even for some photography gear, I'll travel to the nearest non-chain photo store... there are a few meat and fish places that I like to support as well... but, I just can't agree to a blanket condemnation of Walmart stores...they have their place, they serve a purpose....
Barbara Litchfield Hill at 9:36am April 28
I agree Julia. As a photographer, I don't view Walmart as my competition. The clientele who purchase "portraits" there are not the clients I'm seeking out. Plus, I've heard that Walmart makes no money off their portrait studios...they're only hoping you'll buy other stuff while you're there! I LOVE to support small business, especially women-owned, and do so frequently. But when it comes to buying toiletries, envelopes, etc., a girl has gotta do what she can in this new economy! As in all things, balance & moderation.
Stacey Friedlein at 10:59am April 28
Barbara,I certainly agree with your concept Wal-Mart is not your competition. What I am trying to get accross is if you are willing to make buying decisions based strictly on price then don't be uspet when your poteintial client does not utilize your services because of your price.The second point is supporting small business is good for your small business. The few extra pennies you spend at the local store can pay huge dividends for you in the future.
Stacey Friedlein at 11:06am April 28
I have continued this discussion on my blog at: http://inthespiritconsulting.blogspot.com/
Barbara Litchfield Hill at 11:40am April 28
I'm not disputing those points at all; in fact I stated similar thoughts in my post, so we're basically on the same page:)
Fred Hinegardner at 1:22pm April 28
When I had a studio, I was glad Wal-Mart and 15 other similar operations did what they did. They took people off my hands that I no longer wished to serve. I instructed all my help to assist callers who could no longer afford me.I cut my photographic teeth shooting 97 cent 8x10 specials. I shot 200 sittings a week while the studios maybe shot 20. Experience helps a rapid learning curve.One day I saw a local PPA Master hiding behind some shrubbery, watching my operation. I waved. He ran. He later tried to prevent my joining "his" PPA. My subsequent history is public.I don't think whining or boycotting solves anything more than creating an energy drain.I have even recommended people who want to gain a lot of portrait experience in a short amount of time to go to work for one of these outfits. I retired at 50.

Got Hope

2009-05-02T14:20:00.000-07:00

This message delivered to my church on Sunday, May 3, 2009

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:1-2

Got Hope?

I chose to talk to you today from the second lesson from I John. Yes today is Good Shepherd Sunday but this passage really impacted me and I felt obliged to speak on it.

In that passage John touches upon one of the great themes of the Bible—the subject of hope. The word occurs over 50 times in the New Testament. Our strength to live healthy, godly, productive lives depends greatly on this element of hope in our hearts.

Without hope there is really no reason to expend effort. A state of hopelessness is closely akin to a state of death. Hope is as essential to the human soul as water or food is to our physical bodies.

A life without hope is a living hell. In fact, one thing that will make hell so unbearable is the absolute absence of hope.

The Devil was having a yard sale, and all of his tools were marked with different prices.

They were tools like hatred, lust, jealously, deceit, lying, and pride—all carrying a high price tag. But over to one side of the yard on display was a tool more worn than any other tool. It was also the most costly. The tool was labeled Discouragement.

When asked why this tool was priced so high, the Devil answered, “It’s more useful to me than any other tool. When I can’t bring my victims down with any of these other tools, I use discouragement, because most of them don’t even realize it belongs to me.” Have you ever had that tool used on you?

Have you ever lost your joy because you lost your hope?

Have you ever lost your will to go on because you lost your hope?

Facing divorce, possible foreclosure and bankruptcy, and a struggling new business I had lost my hope. The apple cart had been completely upset. In fact I am not sure the apple cart was still intact. But the Devil also knows that godly hope is a powerful thing. That’s why he will do everything he can to rob us of our confident expectation in God.

For months I was mired in the feeling of loss. My whole life as I had known it had been obliterated. In a few short years I had gone from being on top of the world to having lost all hope.

My life was good. I was in a good marriage, my family was strong and happy, my work was providing a better than average income and lifestyle. I thought I had it all. Then boom in a matter of a few months of time it all went away.

What happened? If you remember, I spoke of God’s call in a message I gave here about two years ago. I knew then that following what I believed was his calling for me might cost me everything. And for the most part it has. Worst of all I had lost hope.

Many have told me the process I am going through is much like mourning a death. The grief process initially robs us of so much. We are hurt, angry, scared and feel very much alone. For me I had withdrawn from many of the things in which I found fulfillment and purpose.

I felt alone and angry. Why had God called me here and then abandoned me. Why was I willing to give up so much to follow what I believed was his plan? In so many ways I had lost hope.

My life is very different today than it was even ten months ago. I am living alone and working from my home. I see my kids much less often and feel I have less impact in their lives. Financially I struggle more than maybe anytime in my life. There are days when I simply sit and cry having my own personal “pity parties”. I believed there was no hope.

In recent weeks I have begun to see the light. Opportunities have begun to present themselves where I would have never thought before.

What I have gained far exceeds what I lost. I have a much better perspective of who I am. Daily I write about what is going on in my life. This process of journaling has brought me new understanding of my purpose. Bravely I have posted much of my writing on a blog I have created.

My desire is others will read and be inspired by the struggles and how I have overcome them. By the successes and rewards I experience, by the activity of God in my everyday life. He has not left me. There is hope.

In the New Testament the word hope translated means confident expectation.

In our society hope often carries the weak idea of wishful thinking. We say, “I hope so” and often mean “I doubt so.” But when you read that word in the New Testament understand that we are talking about a firm expectation. That kind of hope has a profound influence on the way we live. It is this hope that has moved me forward.

In May I will be leaving for an eight week speaking tour throughout much of the northwestern part of the country. This is an opportunity which I could have never been able to follow before. In fact this is just the first of more than sixty cities I will be presenting programs in through the middle of 2010.

In this opportunity there is hope. This is very much God looking after one of his children, allowing me to share my faith through my work and with those with whom I come in contact.

I have come to understand I am not a child of God because I am better than any sinner out there. I am only a child of God because I receive the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ.

But if we are to succeed in our journey of faith, we must know who we are. “Now, we are-- the children of God...” This is not just something that will happen someday in the great beyond. This is a present reality. Now I am a child of God. This is something we can know in the here and now—in this life. It is this reality which has allowed me to emerge from the despair and fear I have felt. And it is true for you as well.

Someone might say, “How can I know.” You can know because the Holy Spirit will witness that reality to your spirit.

In Romans 8:16 we read, “The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.” In the reading from today John gives us a number of ways to confirm our relationship with God. This is something we can know in the here and now—in this life.

We know we are children of God by our love toward other believers. That does not mean that we never have a disagreement or never have to deal with our attitude toward another believer. But deep inside of us there is a union with them and we are convicted when our attitude is not right and we are prompted by the Holy Spirit to walk in love.

“Now, we are the children of God...”

What does it mean to be a child of God? It means you are already acceptable with God. You don’t have to earn His favor. You don’t have to be good enough for God to like you or bless you. You are as Ephesians puts it “...blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ...” and you are already “...accepted in the Beloved...”

You are—approved by God because of the sacrifice of Christ in your behalf—and worthy because by the grace of God He has made you worthy.

The practical significance of that is you can come to God for help whatever the need may be—even when you have failed and come short of His glory, you don’t have to draw back from God but are invited to His throne of grace. Do you need forgiveness? Ask and you shall receive. “The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin.” It is important to know who you are in Christ right now because Satan, will jump on every failure, every shortcoming and try to use it to steal your hope in God.

“Now we are the children of God...” Sometimes we don’t act like it. Sometimes we misbehave and our Father has to deal with that. But what we are is what we are or as the cartoon character, Popeye, would say, “I ams what I ams.”

“Now we are the children of God...” That statement is a call to act like it. It is also a basis of hope and confidence to strengthen our resolve to act like it.

In I John 3:1 John tells us to consider the love God has lavished upon us that we who were once enemies of God and children of the Devil, doomed for destruction would now be called the children of God. A revelation of that great love (that sent Jesus to the cross in our behalf) will also stir us to gratitude and obedience. “We love Him because He first loved us.”

The subject of our hope does not end in this life, for John also talks about “What we will be...” Here is a great encouragement of faith: “What we will be...” What we will be “has not yet been made known”.

We are limited in our revelation of God’s plans for us. The world certainly doesn’t see us as anything special at all. The manifestation of the sons of God has not yet happened.We have this treasure in earthen vessels. And what people mostly see is the earthen vessel not the treasure of God’s life in us. “Christ in you, the hope of glory”

There is much about heaven we don’t know. “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” 1 Cor. 13:12

In the town of Port Hope, Canada there is a monument erected, not for some leading citizen, but for a poor, unselfish working man who gave most of his life and energy helping people who could not repay him.

Joseph Scriven was born in Dublin in 1820. As a young man he was full of high ideals and aspirations. He was engaged to a pretty young woman who promised to share his dreams with him. But on the eve of their wedding her body was pulled from a pond where she had accidentally fallen and drowned.

Joseph Scriven never overcame the shock of that tragedy. Although a college graduate with the potential of a brilliant career, he began to wander to try to forget his sorrow. His wanderings took him to Canada where he spent the last 41 years of his life. He became a very devout Christian. His beliefs led him to labor tirelessly for poor widows and sick people. He often served for no wages.

No one knew that Joseph had poetic gifts until shortly before his death at 60 years old. A friend, who was sitting with him while he was ill, discovered a poem he had written to his mother during a time of sorrow. Joseph never intended for anyone else to see it. His poem was later set to music and has become a much loved gospel song. It is said to be the first song that many missionaries teach their converts. In polls taken to determine the popularity of Gospel songs, his is always near the top. What was his poem?

“What a friend we have in Jesus. All our sins and griefs to bear.What a privilege to carry, everything to God in prayer.Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh what needless pain we bear; All because we do not carry, Everything to God in prayer.”I

n this lifetime Joseph Scriven had no idea how God would ultimately use his life.You may not understand what God is doing in your life. But if God has told you to do something He has His reasons. And one day, you may be pleasantly surprised to discover that God has done abundantly more than you ever imagined.Nurture hope. For if you do, hope will nurture you.

Amen.

Portions of this text come from: Richard Tow, Grace Chapel Foursquare Church, Springfield, MO

Energy in words

2009-04-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

In recent weeks I have felt a tremendous amount of energy. It has manifested itself in my writing. Finding opportunities to write what is in my head and my heart as become very important and fulfilling.

Words have always been an important way for me to express myself. Much like a painter or sculptor who articulate their feelings in their art for me it is through writing and speaking words. The writing is a newer form of applying my gifts. In the past it has been in teaching and lecturing.

I am now looking forward to using this new found gift to make me a more affective communicator when I am on the platform. Lately the words seem to flow out of me faster than I can get them on paper.

Sharing what I am writing is important to me. I have this sense of what I have to say as being important and necessary yet I am concerned it is very much self-serving. My hope is those who read my words will be provoked, motivated, touched or encouraged to make positive change in their lives.

I have recently outlined my second book. Maybe this is a little ambitious since I haven’t finished writing the first. But this one has a very different feel. It will be a group of short stories about the lives of my grandparents and my childhood and remembrances of them. Whether it will ever get published is yet to be seen. Right now my goal is to tell these stories for me and as a legacy for my children, nieces and nephews.

God has called and continues to call me in amazing and unexpected ways. As my life continues to evolve away from the comfort of a long-term marriage I am now discovering the new doors which are open to me.

This summer I begin a speaking tour which will have me on the road for seventeen weeks between June first and the end of November. I could have never made this kind of commitment until recently.
This opportunity came to be because I was willing to take a chance and break out of my comfort zone and pay attention to what He was saying to me.

It is with great excitement and hope I look to the future and what God has in store for me. He continues to demonstrate His tremendous love for me. My goal is to be a reflection of this love to those I encounter.

Content or happy

2009-04-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

Contentment may serve you well today but will make you stagnant tomorrow. Being content means you have come to a resting place of comfort. In order to be really happy you need to look for the next level of success and work a plan to achieve your new goals.

1st chapter of my RTPOYP book-draft (comments welcome)

2009-04-21T16:03:00.000-07:00

Why Are You Where You Are?

To understand where we want to go we first have to understand where we are and how we got here. In my years of work in outside sales I have spent more than one hundred nights per year in hotels. I have my favorite hotel chains and usually stay in the same brand of hotel. The downside to this is waking up and not knowing where I am. Usually this occurs on the fourth or fifth consecutive night on the road. I wake up look around and can't remember which city I am in.

The interior of the room is the same as the interior of the rooms I have stayed in the previous several nights. But where am I? I'm never really sure until I am fully awake and look at the room key or my day planner to determine exactly which city I am in. Knowing where I am is compounded when I leave the hotel for dinner and return and can't remember my room number. Five nights, five different room numbers. "Let's see was it 325 or 315, no wait that was last night."

Just how did we get here? How did we get to this place where we are so unhappy, so unfulfilled? For most of us it has happened over time. We are consumed by the demands of daily life. In the book First Things First by Stephen Covey, the author talks about living by the compass and not the clock. Taking care of what is important instead of focusing on what is urgent.

There are so many demands on our time we often feel we are constantly running to the next 'urgent' task in our life. We forget to take the time to look at the important things and prioritize the important over the urgent. We are so busy with these daily demands we forget to stop and look around and ask ourselves, "Why am I where I am?" Most often it is because we have not paid attention to how we got here let alone why we are in this place.

The rut we find ourselves in has gotten very deep and very steep. And it may not seem worth the effort to get ourselves out. We are content to stay where we are no matter how unhappy we may be. It's just easier to park ourselves and have our own personal pity party rather than actually do something about our situation. We sit feeling sorry for ourselves, feeling there is no sense in trying to change. It won't make any difference if we try. So we choose the status quo rather than work towards fulfilling our dreams.

So many times I have spoken to individuals who are absolutely miserable with their current station in life. They are working in a dead end job they hate. With no prospects of advancement or fulfillment in their lives, they are simply going through the motions of living. Dragging themselves out of bed each morning, rushing off to a day of unhappiness at work. Feeling their only purpose is to bring home a paycheck. Then coming home and sitting through hours of mindless television before retiring for a night of unrest as they toss and turn over the day's futility.

It absolutely amazes me how these people complain and carry on about how truly miserable and discontented they are with their current situation. Yet they are not willing to do anything about changing. Too tired, too complacent or just too lazy, I'm not sure which. I am sure of one thing--As long as they don't do anything different--nothing will change.

What about you? Are you in the rut, unhappy with your lot in life? Are you miserable? Let’s begin to figure out why. When did you begin to feel unfulfilled? Think about the last time you were really happy with your life and the direction it was taking. For you, it may be easy to identify life-changing events, which forced you to make decisions taking you in a direction you had not planned. Or you may have to go all the way back to your childhood to find a time when you were really happy. It’s possible you have never felt truly fulfilled in your life. It is important to identify the beginning of your feeling of being unfulfilled. So you can begin to understand what it is which would make you feel fulfilled with your life.

What caused you to continue on this path of unhappiness? Life can get in the way of living our dreams and fulfilling our passion. It may be circumstances, which were out of our control. Financial need, family obligations or the demands of others may have caused you to fall away from the path, which you really wanted to follow.

Whatever the case--change begins today. Right here, right now. Procrastination and hesitation are now over and the time for change is now! As you begin this journey to a more fulfilled and passionate life there will be many detractors. Those things may include: current job security, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, outsiders telling you it can't be done, among many others.

Understand, the course you have chosen will not be easy. If it were you would have done it long ago. In the chapters, which follow, we will help you understand your passion, qualify it as a true direction for your life and help you to get started in realizing your dreams.

Excerpt from my yet unpublished book

2009-04-18T09:24:00.001-07:00

Living a life of passion is living to the full measure of your God given gifts, utilizing your talents for the benefit of all, and realizing your full potential.

Finding Purpose

2009-04-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

“A life of purpose and fulfillment doesn’t happen by accident but by intentional, deliberate steps towards the things you value the most.”

2009-04-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

When you have God in your life, all things are good.

2009-04-16T10:45:00.000-07:00

We gain in spirit from what we give up in life.

Thought

2009-04-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

There is no original thought, just the utilization of the knowledge we have gained through life experiences. Think about it.

Celebrate an empty tomb

2009-04-10T05:13:00.000-07:00

It is seems appropriate to wake up this morning to darkness and rain. After all it is Good Friday. This is the day they hung Christ on the cross and he died for our sins. The concept of Christ dying for our sins has always caused me to pause to think.

If he had simply died there would be no story. Like the two who were crucified with him, he would have been the subject of just another public execution. There would have been nothing else to know. The scribes and Pharisees would have been right. He was just another scripture quoting do-gooder who was trying to make a name for himself.

In my mind the cross, while a symbol of Christianity, a reminder of Christ’s suffering, there is a much more important and significant symbol of us as Christians—The empty tomb. It is here where we learn the importance of Christ and the significance of his earthly ministry. It is in the rolled away stone and the pile of burial linens we discover the great message of Jesus.

Today, we reflect on the humiliating public death of Jesus. We see the crowd of followers who turned away from him. We think of the one of his own who denied him and of Judas who turned him over to the authorities. And we may be sad or angry.

We now realize it is on this day which Jesus fought for our salvation. He went toe to toe with evil and set us right. So, while his death is important it is the work he did and the fact he came back to us which make this weekend important.

In the empty tomb we find hope and recognize Jesus as Christ. In dying he died for each of us. But it is in the empty tomb we realize he lived so we may live.

So my friends, acknowledge his death, but celebrate his life and live with the understanding that there is an empty tomb where we all received eternal life. Happy Easter!

To My Son Kyle

2009-04-04T06:50:00.000-07:00

Reposted from Friday, November 09, 2007

August 29, 1993

Dear Kyle,
I was sitting with you in my arms today and watched you sleeping. I couldn't help but notice those tiny little hands.

As I sat there and examined your tiny little hands, I couldn't help but wonder what would become of those hands in your lifetime. Would they toil in hard labor, becoming callused and hard? Maybe they would pen words that would inspire generations to come. Possibly they would point the way as you lead men into battle. Maybe they would mold great works of art from a clump of clay.

Could they play inspired music to soothe the soul? Would they produce the cure for dreaded disease? Maybe develop the plan for a leveraged buyout. Is it possible that they could hold the bat that wins the deciding game of the World Series, throws the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl or sinks the twelve-foot putt to win the Masters?

And as I sat there I also thought of the things I hoped for those hands and the little man who owned them.I hope that they will serve you well in all you try. I hope you will learn from their exploration of this big old world. May they allow you to hold on to all that's important in your life.

As they wipe the sweat from your brow, may you find satisfaction in a job well done. May they defend you well when faced with adversity? May they also hold you back to reason before fighting. It's O.K. to back down but never back away from those things that you truly believe.

I hope these hands will know the gentle touch of a good woman and loving children. May they never be too busy to hold those things that are truly important in your life? And even though they may grow tough and hard may they also be gentle enough to reassure and comfort those in need.

In closing, I want to remind you to get down on your knees and fold those little hands to give thanks to a loving and caring God that makes all we have in this life possible.

Love, Daddy

Clarity

2009-04-04T02:18:00.000-07:00

It is 4am. I have been awake for about an hour. This is my best time of day. It is a time of clarity. A time I give myself to think about where I am and where I am going, To review yesterday and plan for today.

What lessons did I learn and how will I utilize them today? What opportunities did I seize and what did I leave sitting? Where did I find God? And where did he find me? How will today be used to serve his purpose? Where will I be God's hands and feet today?

Am I using the gifts He has given me for the greatest good? Have I measured up and have I been and done all he has called me to do?

Giving myself permission to fail and knowing the redeeming love of my God is my salvation for the times I come up short in being all God has called me to do. I can only do my best and let God do the rest.

Remembering Grandma Tuecke

2009-04-03T09:05:00.001-07:00

Today my grandmother passed away. I feel extremely blessed to have had her in my life for so long. She is the last of my grandparents. Each of them were very different people and each gave me very diverse gifts.

Grandma Tuecke was the one who gave me the need to keep family important in my life. She was all about keeping tangible remembrances of loved ones. I have many items from each grandparent which will be physical reminders of their importance in my life.

From Grandma Tuecke I have a cookbook she wrote. It is as much a history of her life as it is a list of recipes and ingredients. In fact there are many errors in the recipes. One in which she lists 34 cups of flour. I think she meant 3/4 cup.

The truly amazing thing is she compiled this cookbook after her eightieth birthday. She bought a computer, learned to use it, edited, published, and printed the book by herself. An amazing feat for anyone but particularly amazing for a woman of her age.

Grandma was truly an amazing woman. She was a doer, always having a project she was working on. Whether it was making ceramics, looming a blanket, painting or publishing a cookbook. She was a woman of many talents.

Today I feel sorrow. My last conversation with her was a couple of months ago. She encouraged me to keep my chin up as I was going through some difficult times. Yes, she taught me to treasure the physical remembrances but most of all I will treasure her life and the many blessings she brought to my life. I love you grandma!

2009-04-01T19:42:00.000-07:00

Spring is here!

In times of trial

2009-04-01T19:23:00.000-07:00

Over the past several months there have been a couple of extremely disturbing situations arise in the community I live. First, a young man raped and killed his wife’s sister and her unborn baby. Second, a young divorced father abducted his children. This past week the children and father were found, miles away, dead in an apparent murder/suicide. And today the young man pled guilty and was sentenced to fifty years in prison.

These two tragedies have had a profound impact on our community. There has been an outpouring of emotion on both ends of the spectrum from compassion and concern to sadness and anger. The papers are filled with coverage of these stories and everyone has an opinion about the reasons why.

The truth is there is no good answer for why these tragedies occurred. Angry young men who felt they could no longer deal with the pressures of society? A failed judicial system? Inadequate protections afforded those who lost their lives?

In the midst of the finger pointing and blame game there is a certain sense of uneasiness. After all this is your typical small Midwestern community. By and large we are a community of good, moral and faithful people. A community where we look out for our neighbors and have always felt safe and somewhat insulated from the hardness of the outside world.

The truth as evidenced by these recent acts is we are not immune from the pressures of those things which the country and world-at-large face every day. It is in how we deal which these kinds of events which marks us as community.

Over the past several weeks we have seen friends and strangers come to the aid and support of these families. Local churches have opened their doors for prayer services and time of healing and people with no connection to the families have provided support. Ribbons have been tied, fliers distributed, posters made and tokens of affection left on children’s desks.

Both of these tragedies beg for us to grasp something we cannot comprehend. We look to our faith and our God to bring comfort to us and to those left behind. We pray for healing for a family and a community and we ask God to continue to show his unconditional love to all of us. It is in Him we are able to move forward, find solace, and are comforted. It is in him those responsible for these acts will meet their final judgment and it is in him we can live in the knowledge that there is a hopeful future. May God bless us all.

Planning for the bounty of the harvest

2009-03-29T10:36:00.000-07:00

(reposted from earlier blog)

I love spring and I love to garden. With the gentle warm breeze comes a feeling of renewal. We begin to see evidence of this renewal in the budding of the trees and the greening of the grass. It is during this time of the year, in late winter, I begin looking at seed catalogs and deciding on the things I want in my garden in the spring.

Remembering the successes and failures in my past experiences helps me to choose seeds, which will improve my end results. To help me do this I keep a journal each season of the brand and type of seeds I planted. I record how well they did when I harvest from my garden. This process allows me to select the appropriate seeds and not repeat mistakes I may have made. Not only in the seed selection but also at how well I managed my garden.

There is great satisfaction of putting seeds in the ground and seeing the plants burst through the soil. In many ways it is a wondrous event. From such a small seed grow plants, which produce magnificent flowers or plentiful vegetables. Planting and harvesting can be very rewarding.We can receive the same great rewards in our business. We just have to learn how to sow the seeds and reap the harvest. The planting begins with planning. And now is the time to be planning.

For many small business owners this is the slower time of the year. It makes it the perfect time to begin planning for your future success. Just like me and my garden now is the time to be selecting the ‘right seeds’. What are those things, which will grow and bear fruit in your business? Look at what has been productive for you in the past and look at ways to improve on its success.

Evaluate what has not worked well or where you may need to add to your marketing plan to improve your results. You should ask questions such as, "Where do we need to increase cash flow?" "What product lines and services are the most fruitful and how do we replicate and improve on those successes?" "Where have we not done so well, and why?" "What tasks seem to get in the way of my success and how do I put my focus back on my success?"

Answering these questions and creating a plan to address the changes needed to improve your success can help you become more satisfied with your end results. With this in mind…Plan, Plant, Reap and Enjoy the bounty of your harvest

Making Dreams Real

2009-03-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

Each of us has that one thing deep inside us which we feel is the one thing we can accomplish. It may a vocational achievement, a hidden talent yet to be discovered by the outside world or a desire to use our creative energies to better others lives.

The key is to make your dream an actionable goal. Break it down into small attainable steps. Allow it to be fluid enough that you can adjust along the path to achievement. Give yourself time to explore your dream and find time to work towards your goals to make it real. Give yourself permission to dream. It is not bad or should not male you feel guilty to visualize and make your dream real.

As we dream and create a system for making the dream reality we begin to bring vision to our purpose and understand more clearly how the reality will impact our lives and change us in a positive way.

What happens when we realize that one thing is not attainable? When time and or circumstances make it no longer possible for it to happen? What then? For many they give up, let the dream die or hang on to false hope.

To me it is about allowing our dreams to evolve as our lives evolve. When we grow away from one dream there is always another to replace it, be free to dream.

Stacks of memories

2009-03-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

She had the garage packed to the rafters. So too were the backroom and the basement. A lifetime of accumulation much of it had no value to anyone but her. Amazingly she could put her hand on anything she was looking for. There was no catalogue or filing system, just the memory of the old woman.

A tiny path was carved through the stacks of magazines, books and assorted boxes. Each stack had a story of a part of the old woman’s life. Boxes filled with various hobbies and interests. Here there is a stack of boxes full of handicrafts used to create hand painted Christmas ornaments. Over there are bags full of yarn used on her loom to make blankets, rugs and pillow shams. Back in the corner is a stack of old National Geographic magazines. Next to them is another stack of magazines, Better Homes and Gardens and Ladies Home Journal.

Oh, and there is the boxes of Avon bottles from years of selling and collecting. Each stack, each pile and each box tells a story of this special lady. Stories she was always willing to share and as she begins to talk she would remember one more thing she had in the stacks. In a few minutes she would be back with one more thing to share and show.

The stories were as endless as the eclectic items in the accumulated stacks. She tells her stories with a deep raspy voice and a sparkle in her eyes.

Over the years I was on the receiving end of many of these stories. She is my grandmother. Now in her ninety-first year she is likely coming to the end of her life. The years have caught up with her. She has been fighting the good fight but the prognosis is not good.

My memories of her include spending several days with her and my late grandfather when I was in grade school. She introduced me to Apple Jacks which to this day is one of my favorite breakfast cereals.

Grandma was never known for being punctual getting holiday dinners to the table. Often it was several hours past the regular mealtime of my brothers, sister and me. Stomachs growling and nothing to tide us over until the meal was on the table we learned to be patient and quiet.

One of the favorite things to do at grandmas was using the Viewmaster to see photographs of the world and our favorite cartoon characters. It was stored on a special shelf in the bookcase along with a few other small toys we could play. Her house was mostly a hands-off place for small children. There were lots of breakables and other items which were strictly off-limits.

Grandma showed us love in her own way. In ways just now as an adult I have come to appreciate. If these are her final days my prayer is she will go peacefully. I will miss her greatly. The stacks and piles will be left to be sorted I am sure the items will bring back stories and laughs, joys and sorrows and most of all memories of a lifetime of accumulation.

A better week

2009-03-10T19:03:00.001-07:00

I feel compelled to write for the sake of writing. The past week has been filled with ups and downs, good and bad. It has been a week of frustration and life lessons.

It has been a week to swallow my pride and allow people to help me in ways I never expected. It has been a week of prayer, of asking God to clear my head of the negatives, to hold the demons of the world at bay and to allow me to heal spiritually and emotionally.

From this past week I have emerged surprisingly content and with a true sense of relief. God continues to show up in surprising places.

The lights are on

2009-03-04T08:37:00.000-08:00

It is a custom at the funeral home in my small community to turn on the outside lights any time there is a body at the home. It is their way of telling the community someone has passed away.

So, anytime the lights come on outside the funeral home there is great speculation as to who died. Then the gossip begins for the coffee drinkers at the local fast food place and those who sit at the liar’s wall at the truck stop. Questions, answers and speculation to how they died, why they died and what could have extended their lives. It doesn’t matter if they were nine or ninety, everyone has an opinion.

And most have a story about the deceased. Funny, sad, loving, truth or legend, the stories flow. Recently the lights have been on a lot giving the gossip groups plenty of fodder to chew on.

Behind each story is a person. A friend, a relative, a stranger we may only know by name or reputation never the less they are all people who have made some impact on our community. This is one of the great things about small town living. People care, they care enough to talk, to share, to laugh and to mourn the passing of one of our own.

Today I am going to the funeral of the father, of my best friend in high school. It is the fifth funeral in two weeks of people I have known and shared my life. Roy was very well known in the community. He never met a stranger and always had a story to share. One of his hobbies was making buttons. He was happy to tell you about all of the buttons he had made to recognize school athletic team accomplishments, holidays and special events.

Today I think Roy is probably at the Pearly Gates handing out buttons which read, “Welcome to Heaven”.

For now the lights are off at the funeral home. And the watch will begin again until the lights come on and the question is raised again. “Who died?” Certainly it will be someone we all know something about and we will have a story to tell about them.

In need of prayer

2009-03-01T18:47:00.000-08:00

There have been very few times in my life when I felt I could not pray. Recently it has been very much true for me. All of the pressures of my current situation have flooded my mind and my spirit with feelings of despair and frustration.

When I do pray I find it to be words of the same despair and anger I feel. I question where God is in all of this. After all, I believe I have followed his call and have been true to his will for my life. So am I supposed to be miserable? I have sacrificed allot to follow his call. What I didn’t expect is how extremely painful this process would be. I don’t think it is what I had in mind when I started on this journey. If I have been so true and faithful why am I so miserable?

This is maybe my most difficult admission, especially in a public forum. I get very discouraged when my financial situation is rough. I realize I am not the Lone Ranger in this. There are many in very difficult situations. For me I have always measured my success to a certain level, on my ability to make money. When money gets tight I get scared. I get down on myself and feel like I am failing.

Lately those walls have been tightening around me. My divorce, mediation, covering monthly and long-term financial obligations, managing a fledgling business though a serious recession and the fear of the future have all created a very heavy burden for me.

My brain understands what God wants me to do but my heart is so full of fear for the future I can’t seem to let Him in. Words seem hollow, even scripture doesn’t seem to making an impact right now.

I know I am not unique but also know it is on my heart to ask for your prayer, the prayers of your friends and the prayers of strangers.

Finding God in unexpected places.

2009-02-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

This has been a very difficult week. It seems like it has been a huge pile on of circumstances which have knocked me back down the hole I have been trying so hard to get myself out. The divorce, financial struggles and uncertainty about the future have kept me from focusing on the positives.

A mom, a sister and a client have reminded me of God's presence in my life and I need to continue to focus on his plan for me. Mom reminded me there is hope in every situation, to keep my chin up and remember I have a family who loves me and will support me as I work through the difficulties of my circumstances.

My sister reminded my there is support in places I dared not ask. A gift from her love helped me out of a tough situation. This was came very unexpectedly and I sense God used her to help me understand he works through the people who care for me. Indeed God showed up where I least expected.

During a consultation this week I had a client help me realize I need to be in God's plan. I have been trying to force my plan into what God really wants me to do. She helped me to realize I need to allow God to control my future and I need to be quiet and listen and more importantly respond to what he is asking me to do.

She gave me two very simple prayers. The first, "Lord, I need to be doing what you are blessing." and second, "God, give me your heart and allow me to be in a receiving spirit."

In my struggles this week I have found God working through those who love me and care about me. It has allowed me to find contentment in my current situation and renewed my hope in God's plan for my future.

Blessings come when we allow God in our life, sometimes when and where we least expect it.

Two special gifts

2009-02-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow my sister sends two of her foster children back to their biological mother. This is a very emotional and difficult time for her. She has had both since their births. The oldest is three and a half and the youngest is not quite two.

The children have become a very big part of her life and that of my mother who babysits often for them. They are truly adorable and happy kids. For my sister she has been given a very special gift. First, she has been given the ability to love and nurture children and be a true advocate for them in their care and future. She has also been allowed to use this gift often over the years with many children.

As these two children return to their biological mother we as a family are happy God brought them into our lives if even for a short period of time. We can find comfort in knowing that their lives will be better for having a positive start in their lives. They have been surrounded with people who truly have loved them and cared for them. We trust God will look over them and he will continue to allow my sister to be the loving, nurturing start for other children who are placed with her.

Loss times three

2009-02-17T19:21:00.000-08:00

This past weekend a family friend died at the age of thirty-six. Kent and his family lived across the street from my family when we were growing up. They were more like family than friends. His oldest brother and I were classmates in school.

What makes Kent’s untimely death harder to understand is that his parents both died in late 2007 just a few weeks apart. His dad had been ill for several years but his mother died suddenly. Things like this are extremely hard to understand. Why does one family have to endure so much pain.

Kent’s family are all good, caring and hard working people. So, why? This is maybe the greatest question we as mortals face. There is not much comfort in words, no matter how well intentioned, like “it was meant to be”; “it’s part of God’s plan” , and the like.

For those left behind it just hurts and for my friends it hurts times three. It’s unimaginable to lose a loved one but to lose both parents and a brother in such a short period of time has to be devastating. As much as I wish I could have some sort of great answer for them. All any of us can do is love those left behind, be there for them, and ask God to comfort them.

25 Random things about me from Facebook

2009-02-16T08:45:00.000-08:00

1. God is first in my life. He kicks my butt almost daily and I deserve it. If I would learn to keep my hands off of the steering wheel I would be better off.

2. I was born twelve hours after my twin brother. We are nothing alike but very competitive.

3. I survived spinal meningitis when I was seven months old. My survival has always made me feel God has a special calling for me in my life. It has been my life’s work to answer that call.

4. Serving God though my vocation and my daily living is the focus of everything I do. Answering God’s call to serve him has been a life-long process which will never be completed while I am here on earth.

5. I ended my marriage of twenty-seven years to follow God’s call for me. She just couldn’t be part of this kind of faith and I could not, not be part of it.

6. Following God’s call is the hardest thing I have ever done. Patience is not my strong suit! It is also the most satisfying.

7. I have been told I can talk for twenty minutes and not know the subject. To the surprise of many I am generally quiet in social situations. But put me in front of a group of people (10-10,000) and I can talk for hours.

8. Writing has become a source of therapy and growth for me. I journal often and enjoy writing a great deal. I am working on my first book. (My high school English teacher, Mrs. Morgan would be shocked to read this. I hated grammar and couldn’t diagram a sentence to save my soul)

9. I love my kids (a daughter 20 and a son 15) and am very proud of them both. They are growing into great young adults. Both are well-grounded, faithful and intelligent. I believe God has great things in store for both of them.

10. I once entered our district Cub Scout pinewood derby as “John” Friedlein much to the surprise of my parents. As an eight year old boy I took a great deal of heat for having the name Stacey.

11. Being named Stacey (for which my parents have never been able to give me a believable reason) has been one of the best things they could have done. I have found it has challenged me to get past the perception and has made me more memorable to those I meet.

12. My brother and I own a cabin on timber ground once owned by our grandfather. It is very primitive and remote. The cabin has become a great sanctuary for clearing my head and sorting out my thoughts.

13. I have been in Boy Scouts for more than forty years. I am an Eagle Scout and am proudly watching my son complete his Eagle Scout requirements. He will be the first legacy Eagle in our troop.

14. I was the meanest kid in my junior high. I spent so much time in the principal’s office he had to attach a note card to my rolodex file to keep track of my visits.

15. Boy Scouts changed my life. I was unfocused and frustrated about life as an adolescent. Scouting gave me a sense of purpose and direction. It allowed me to grow as a person and utilize my leadership skills in a positive way. Part of my life’s work is to give back to the program which gave me so much.

16. My business is a direct answer to God’s call. It took me more than six years to complete the business plan. But now I know it was on God’s time.

17. I am very community service oriented. I have been president of nearly every local organization from Kiwanis to the Chamber of Commerce. Leadership and organization are some of my gifts. Or it may I just like to be the boss. There are some who wish I would not use me gifts so often.

18. I have cooked more pancakes, sausage and pork chops over the past twenty-five years than I care to count. I love to cook but can’t cook fewer than fifty pork chops at a time. I have developed a ‘secret seasoning’ recipe for pork chops which only I know.

19. I take an afternoon nap almost every day. Why should such a luxury be assigned only to the very young and very old?

20. Making life changing decisions at nearly fifty can really suck at times. I never dreamt my life would be like it is. Finding a new path to follow and a new lifestyle can be frightening. I trust God is in this and reveal his plan to me in his time.

21. I am reminded often of Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” , all in God’s time.

22. Giving a great speech or making a difference in a client’s life gives me a sense of euphoria. There is not better feeling for me than to walk of the platform after making a presentation and realizing how well I connected with my audience.

23. I have a very squirrelly sense of humor. I like to tease and have good natured fun with people. I love to make people laugh. I also like to tell stories from real life which are funny and serve a purpose.

24. I am blessed with a wonderful family. My parents are both living and have been great support for me through my impending divorce. I also have wonderful siblings and have found great comfort from all of them in these trying days.

25. God loves me and you! Enough said.

Looking from the outside in

2009-02-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

Over the past couple of days I have been thinking about myself and the person I am. I have always felt I have a pretty good ability to move outside of myself and objectively assess how others may perceive me. This type of self assessment can be both beneficial and enlightening. It also can be frustrating and self destructive.

When I teach I often try to assess my students by their responses to what is being said and then redirect my teaching style to accommodate them. It is one of the gifts I feel I have been given which makes me a good teacher.

I also do a great deal of self assessment after I teach as to how well I presented my information, critiquing my performance, if you will. I know when I have been “on” and given a five-star presentation. I have an almost euphoric feeling when I am done. There is something extremely gratifying to me to hold an audience in my hand, to have them spellbound by my words. It is in these moments I find great satisfaction in my work.

The same is true when I finish a consultation with a client and I know my advice has made a positive impact in their business and more importantly in their lives. I have learned over the years that it is difficult to replicate my performance every time I speak or consult and when I try I often fail. It is here I have tried to be fluid enough in my teaching and consulting to adjust my presentation style to fit the situation.

On the flip side I have found there are times when I allow myself to over analyze and over think myself. It is in these moments where I become frustrated and even angry that I allowed myself to perform at less than my best. There is a book by author Og Mandino entitled “The Spellbinder’s Gift” which speaks of a great orator. It is my desire to become much like the character in the book and share such a strong and positive message of hope and encouragement to those listening their lives will be forever positively impacted.

This is a topic I will continue to write about in the future.

Moving out of self imposed exile

2009-02-09T18:55:00.000-08:00

I attended my first Kiwanis meeting in more than seven months tonight. This may seem kind of insignificant. However it is a first step in getting back into my life. I have always been extremely active in my community and had really stepped away from all of my social and community activities after I decided to end my marriage.

It felt good to be back among my fellow club members and engaging in something other than work and self centered pity. I have always found great satisfaction in serving others and in community projects and am looking forward to getting involved in club projects again.

Starting over on God's time

2009-02-08T16:07:00.000-08:00

This past week marked six months since I made a life changing decision. On July 3, 2008 I told my wife of twenty-seven years I wanted a divorce. In the months since my life has completely been turned on its ear. The life I had enjoyed and cherished was no longer. I found myself living alone for the first time, adjusting to a much different lifestyle.

For much of the past six months I have gone through a grieving process. Much like a person would who has lost a significant person in their life. There have been days of anger, tears, frustration, guilt and all of those other emotions which come with such a radical change.

In recent weeks I have begun to see light in the darkness. God has begun to show me the purpose in my life again and I have begun to engage him more readily as I make decisions for my future. It has been a long lonely road to get myself out of the dark and barren place where I had existed for many months. In recent weeks the pity parties have turned into plans for the future and for the first time in a long time I feel a great deal of hope and optimism for my life. Learning to work on God’s time and his plan is one of the most frustrating things I ever do.

But I am reminded often of his plan and that I need to have patience and allow him to lead my life. In this Blog I hope to share how God is working in my life. I guess this is kind of a selfish process as I really have found writing as a valuable tool for me in my personal discernment. In writing in this format I hope it may help others who are struggling with life circumstances a sense of hope and assurance that God is alive and working in their lives as well.

Comments and insights from readers are always welcome.