This has been a very difficult week. It seems like it has been a huge pile on of circumstances which have knocked me back down the hole I have been trying so hard to get myself out. The divorce, financial struggles and uncertainty about the future have kept me from focusing on the positives.
A mom, a sister and a client have reminded me of God's presence in my life and I need to continue to focus on his plan for me. Mom reminded me there is hope in every situation, to keep my chin up and remember I have a family who loves me and will support me as I work through the difficulties of my circumstances.
My sister reminded my there is support in places I dared not ask. A gift from her love helped me out of a tough situation. This was came very unexpectedly and I sense God used her to help me understand he works through the people who care for me. Indeed God showed up where I least expected.
During a consultation this week I had a client help me realize I need to be in God's plan. I have been trying to force my plan into what God really wants me to do. She helped me to realize I need to allow God to control my future and I need to be quiet and listen and more importantly respond to what he is asking me to do.
She gave me two very simple prayers. The first, "Lord, I need to be doing what you are blessing." and second, "God, give me your heart and allow me to be in a receiving spirit."
In my struggles this week I have found God working through those who love me and care about me. It has allowed me to find contentment in my current situation and renewed my hope in God's plan for my future.
Blessings come when we allow God in our life, sometimes when and where we least expect it.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Two special gifts
Tomorrow my sister sends two of her foster children back to their biological mother. This is a very emotional and difficult time for her. She has had both since their births. The oldest is three and a half and the youngest is not quite two.
The children have become a very big part of her life and that of my mother who babysits often for them. They are truly adorable and happy kids. For my sister she has been given a very special gift. First, she has been given the ability to love and nurture children and be a true advocate for them in their care and future. She has also been allowed to use this gift often over the years with many children.
As these two children return to their biological mother we as a family are happy God brought them into our lives if even for a short period of time. We can find comfort in knowing that their lives will be better for having a positive start in their lives. They have been surrounded with people who truly have loved them and cared for them. We trust God will look over them and he will continue to allow my sister to be the loving, nurturing start for other children who are placed with her.
The children have become a very big part of her life and that of my mother who babysits often for them. They are truly adorable and happy kids. For my sister she has been given a very special gift. First, she has been given the ability to love and nurture children and be a true advocate for them in their care and future. She has also been allowed to use this gift often over the years with many children.
As these two children return to their biological mother we as a family are happy God brought them into our lives if even for a short period of time. We can find comfort in knowing that their lives will be better for having a positive start in their lives. They have been surrounded with people who truly have loved them and cared for them. We trust God will look over them and he will continue to allow my sister to be the loving, nurturing start for other children who are placed with her.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Loss times three
This past weekend a family friend died at the age of thirty-six. Kent and his family lived across the street from my family when we were growing up. They were more like family than friends. His oldest brother and I were classmates in school.
What makes Kent’s untimely death harder to understand is that his parents both died in late 2007 just a few weeks apart. His dad had been ill for several years but his mother died suddenly. Things like this are extremely hard to understand. Why does one family have to endure so much pain.
Kent’s family are all good, caring and hard working people. So, why? This is maybe the greatest question we as mortals face. There is not much comfort in words, no matter how well intentioned, like “it was meant to be”; “it’s part of God’s plan” , and the like.
For those left behind it just hurts and for my friends it hurts times three. It’s unimaginable to lose a loved one but to lose both parents and a brother in such a short period of time has to be devastating. As much as I wish I could have some sort of great answer for them. All any of us can do is love those left behind, be there for them, and ask God to comfort them.
What makes Kent’s untimely death harder to understand is that his parents both died in late 2007 just a few weeks apart. His dad had been ill for several years but his mother died suddenly. Things like this are extremely hard to understand. Why does one family have to endure so much pain.
Kent’s family are all good, caring and hard working people. So, why? This is maybe the greatest question we as mortals face. There is not much comfort in words, no matter how well intentioned, like “it was meant to be”; “it’s part of God’s plan” , and the like.
For those left behind it just hurts and for my friends it hurts times three. It’s unimaginable to lose a loved one but to lose both parents and a brother in such a short period of time has to be devastating. As much as I wish I could have some sort of great answer for them. All any of us can do is love those left behind, be there for them, and ask God to comfort them.
Monday, February 16, 2009
25 Random things about me from Facebook
1. God is first in my life. He kicks my butt almost daily and I deserve it. If I would learn to keep my hands off of the steering wheel I would be better off.
2. I was born twelve hours after my twin brother. We are nothing alike but very competitive.
3. I survived spinal meningitis when I was seven months old. My survival has always made me feel God has a special calling for me in my life. It has been my life’s work to answer that call.
4. Serving God though my vocation and my daily living is the focus of everything I do. Answering God’s call to serve him has been a life-long process which will never be completed while I am here on earth.
5. I ended my marriage of twenty-seven years to follow God’s call for me. She just couldn’t be part of this kind of faith and I could not, not be part of it.
6. Following God’s call is the hardest thing I have ever done. Patience is not my strong suit! It is also the most satisfying.
7. I have been told I can talk for twenty minutes and not know the subject. To the surprise of many I am generally quiet in social situations. But put me in front of a group of people (10-10,000) and I can talk for hours.
8. Writing has become a source of therapy and growth for me. I journal often and enjoy writing a great deal. I am working on my first book. (My high school English teacher, Mrs. Morgan would be shocked to read this. I hated grammar and couldn’t diagram a sentence to save my soul)
9. I love my kids (a daughter 20 and a son 15) and am very proud of them both. They are growing into great young adults. Both are well-grounded, faithful and intelligent. I believe God has great things in store for both of them.
10. I once entered our district Cub Scout pinewood derby as “John” Friedlein much to the surprise of my parents. As an eight year old boy I took a great deal of heat for having the name Stacey.
11. Being named Stacey (for which my parents have never been able to give me a believable reason) has been one of the best things they could have done. I have found it has challenged me to get past the perception and has made me more memorable to those I meet.
12. My brother and I own a cabin on timber ground once owned by our grandfather. It is very primitive and remote. The cabin has become a great sanctuary for clearing my head and sorting out my thoughts.
13. I have been in Boy Scouts for more than forty years. I am an Eagle Scout and am proudly watching my son complete his Eagle Scout requirements. He will be the first legacy Eagle in our troop.
14. I was the meanest kid in my junior high. I spent so much time in the principal’s office he had to attach a note card to my rolodex file to keep track of my visits.
15. Boy Scouts changed my life. I was unfocused and frustrated about life as an adolescent. Scouting gave me a sense of purpose and direction. It allowed me to grow as a person and utilize my leadership skills in a positive way. Part of my life’s work is to give back to the program which gave me so much.
16. My business is a direct answer to God’s call. It took me more than six years to complete the business plan. But now I know it was on God’s time.
17. I am very community service oriented. I have been president of nearly every local organization from Kiwanis to the Chamber of Commerce. Leadership and organization are some of my gifts. Or it may I just like to be the boss. There are some who wish I would not use me gifts so often.
18. I have cooked more pancakes, sausage and pork chops over the past twenty-five years than I care to count. I love to cook but can’t cook fewer than fifty pork chops at a time. I have developed a ‘secret seasoning’ recipe for pork chops which only I know.
19. I take an afternoon nap almost every day. Why should such a luxury be assigned only to the very young and very old?
20. Making life changing decisions at nearly fifty can really suck at times. I never dreamt my life would be like it is. Finding a new path to follow and a new lifestyle can be frightening. I trust God is in this and reveal his plan to me in his time.
21. I am reminded often of Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” , all in God’s time.
22. Giving a great speech or making a difference in a client’s life gives me a sense of euphoria. There is not better feeling for me than to walk of the platform after making a presentation and realizing how well I connected with my audience.
23. I have a very squirrelly sense of humor. I like to tease and have good natured fun with people. I love to make people laugh. I also like to tell stories from real life which are funny and serve a purpose.
24. I am blessed with a wonderful family. My parents are both living and have been great support for me through my impending divorce. I also have wonderful siblings and have found great comfort from all of them in these trying days.
25. God loves me and you! Enough said.
2. I was born twelve hours after my twin brother. We are nothing alike but very competitive.
3. I survived spinal meningitis when I was seven months old. My survival has always made me feel God has a special calling for me in my life. It has been my life’s work to answer that call.
4. Serving God though my vocation and my daily living is the focus of everything I do. Answering God’s call to serve him has been a life-long process which will never be completed while I am here on earth.
5. I ended my marriage of twenty-seven years to follow God’s call for me. She just couldn’t be part of this kind of faith and I could not, not be part of it.
6. Following God’s call is the hardest thing I have ever done. Patience is not my strong suit! It is also the most satisfying.
7. I have been told I can talk for twenty minutes and not know the subject. To the surprise of many I am generally quiet in social situations. But put me in front of a group of people (10-10,000) and I can talk for hours.
8. Writing has become a source of therapy and growth for me. I journal often and enjoy writing a great deal. I am working on my first book. (My high school English teacher, Mrs. Morgan would be shocked to read this. I hated grammar and couldn’t diagram a sentence to save my soul)
9. I love my kids (a daughter 20 and a son 15) and am very proud of them both. They are growing into great young adults. Both are well-grounded, faithful and intelligent. I believe God has great things in store for both of them.
10. I once entered our district Cub Scout pinewood derby as “John” Friedlein much to the surprise of my parents. As an eight year old boy I took a great deal of heat for having the name Stacey.
11. Being named Stacey (for which my parents have never been able to give me a believable reason) has been one of the best things they could have done. I have found it has challenged me to get past the perception and has made me more memorable to those I meet.
12. My brother and I own a cabin on timber ground once owned by our grandfather. It is very primitive and remote. The cabin has become a great sanctuary for clearing my head and sorting out my thoughts.
13. I have been in Boy Scouts for more than forty years. I am an Eagle Scout and am proudly watching my son complete his Eagle Scout requirements. He will be the first legacy Eagle in our troop.
14. I was the meanest kid in my junior high. I spent so much time in the principal’s office he had to attach a note card to my rolodex file to keep track of my visits.
15. Boy Scouts changed my life. I was unfocused and frustrated about life as an adolescent. Scouting gave me a sense of purpose and direction. It allowed me to grow as a person and utilize my leadership skills in a positive way. Part of my life’s work is to give back to the program which gave me so much.
16. My business is a direct answer to God’s call. It took me more than six years to complete the business plan. But now I know it was on God’s time.
17. I am very community service oriented. I have been president of nearly every local organization from Kiwanis to the Chamber of Commerce. Leadership and organization are some of my gifts. Or it may I just like to be the boss. There are some who wish I would not use me gifts so often.
18. I have cooked more pancakes, sausage and pork chops over the past twenty-five years than I care to count. I love to cook but can’t cook fewer than fifty pork chops at a time. I have developed a ‘secret seasoning’ recipe for pork chops which only I know.
19. I take an afternoon nap almost every day. Why should such a luxury be assigned only to the very young and very old?
20. Making life changing decisions at nearly fifty can really suck at times. I never dreamt my life would be like it is. Finding a new path to follow and a new lifestyle can be frightening. I trust God is in this and reveal his plan to me in his time.
21. I am reminded often of Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” , all in God’s time.
22. Giving a great speech or making a difference in a client’s life gives me a sense of euphoria. There is not better feeling for me than to walk of the platform after making a presentation and realizing how well I connected with my audience.
23. I have a very squirrelly sense of humor. I like to tease and have good natured fun with people. I love to make people laugh. I also like to tell stories from real life which are funny and serve a purpose.
24. I am blessed with a wonderful family. My parents are both living and have been great support for me through my impending divorce. I also have wonderful siblings and have found great comfort from all of them in these trying days.
25. God loves me and you! Enough said.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Looking from the outside in
Over the past couple of days I have been thinking about myself and the person I am. I have always felt I have a pretty good ability to move outside of myself and objectively assess how others may perceive me. This type of self assessment can be both beneficial and enlightening. It also can be frustrating and self destructive.
When I teach I often try to assess my students by their responses to what is being said and then redirect my teaching style to accommodate them. It is one of the gifts I feel I have been given which makes me a good teacher.
I also do a great deal of self assessment after I teach as to how well I presented my information, critiquing my performance, if you will. I know when I have been “on” and given a five-star presentation. I have an almost euphoric feeling when I am done. There is something extremely gratifying to me to hold an audience in my hand, to have them spellbound by my words. It is in these moments I find great satisfaction in my work.
The same is true when I finish a consultation with a client and I know my advice has made a positive impact in their business and more importantly in their lives. I have learned over the years that it is difficult to replicate my performance every time I speak or consult and when I try I often fail. It is here I have tried to be fluid enough in my teaching and consulting to adjust my presentation style to fit the situation.
On the flip side I have found there are times when I allow myself to over analyze and over think myself. It is in these moments where I become frustrated and even angry that I allowed myself to perform at less than my best. There is a book by author Og Mandino entitled “The Spellbinder’s Gift” which speaks of a great orator. It is my desire to become much like the character in the book and share such a strong and positive message of hope and encouragement to those listening their lives will be forever positively impacted.
This is a topic I will continue to write about in the future.
When I teach I often try to assess my students by their responses to what is being said and then redirect my teaching style to accommodate them. It is one of the gifts I feel I have been given which makes me a good teacher.
I also do a great deal of self assessment after I teach as to how well I presented my information, critiquing my performance, if you will. I know when I have been “on” and given a five-star presentation. I have an almost euphoric feeling when I am done. There is something extremely gratifying to me to hold an audience in my hand, to have them spellbound by my words. It is in these moments I find great satisfaction in my work.
The same is true when I finish a consultation with a client and I know my advice has made a positive impact in their business and more importantly in their lives. I have learned over the years that it is difficult to replicate my performance every time I speak or consult and when I try I often fail. It is here I have tried to be fluid enough in my teaching and consulting to adjust my presentation style to fit the situation.
On the flip side I have found there are times when I allow myself to over analyze and over think myself. It is in these moments where I become frustrated and even angry that I allowed myself to perform at less than my best. There is a book by author Og Mandino entitled “The Spellbinder’s Gift” which speaks of a great orator. It is my desire to become much like the character in the book and share such a strong and positive message of hope and encouragement to those listening their lives will be forever positively impacted.
This is a topic I will continue to write about in the future.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Moving out of self imposed exile
I attended my first Kiwanis meeting in more than seven months tonight. This may seem kind of insignificant. However it is a first step in getting back into my life. I have always been extremely active in my community and had really stepped away from all of my social and community activities after I decided to end my marriage.
It felt good to be back among my fellow club members and engaging in something other than work and self centered pity. I have always found great satisfaction in serving others and in community projects and am looking forward to getting involved in club projects again.
It felt good to be back among my fellow club members and engaging in something other than work and self centered pity. I have always found great satisfaction in serving others and in community projects and am looking forward to getting involved in club projects again.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Starting over on God's time
This past week marked six months since I made a life changing decision. On July 3, 2008 I told my wife of twenty-seven years I wanted a divorce. In the months since my life has completely been turned on its ear. The life I had enjoyed and cherished was no longer. I found myself living alone for the first time, adjusting to a much different lifestyle.
For much of the past six months I have gone through a grieving process. Much like a person would who has lost a significant person in their life. There have been days of anger, tears, frustration, guilt and all of those other emotions which come with such a radical change.
In recent weeks I have begun to see light in the darkness. God has begun to show me the purpose in my life again and I have begun to engage him more readily as I make decisions for my future. It has been a long lonely road to get myself out of the dark and barren place where I had existed for many months. In recent weeks the pity parties have turned into plans for the future and for the first time in a long time I feel a great deal of hope and optimism for my life. Learning to work on God’s time and his plan is one of the most frustrating things I ever do.
But I am reminded often of his plan and that I need to have patience and allow him to lead my life. In this Blog I hope to share how God is working in my life. I guess this is kind of a selfish process as I really have found writing as a valuable tool for me in my personal discernment. In writing in this format I hope it may help others who are struggling with life circumstances a sense of hope and assurance that God is alive and working in their lives as well.
Comments and insights from readers are always welcome.
For much of the past six months I have gone through a grieving process. Much like a person would who has lost a significant person in their life. There have been days of anger, tears, frustration, guilt and all of those other emotions which come with such a radical change.
In recent weeks I have begun to see light in the darkness. God has begun to show me the purpose in my life again and I have begun to engage him more readily as I make decisions for my future. It has been a long lonely road to get myself out of the dark and barren place where I had existed for many months. In recent weeks the pity parties have turned into plans for the future and for the first time in a long time I feel a great deal of hope and optimism for my life. Learning to work on God’s time and his plan is one of the most frustrating things I ever do.
But I am reminded often of his plan and that I need to have patience and allow him to lead my life. In this Blog I hope to share how God is working in my life. I guess this is kind of a selfish process as I really have found writing as a valuable tool for me in my personal discernment. In writing in this format I hope it may help others who are struggling with life circumstances a sense of hope and assurance that God is alive and working in their lives as well.
Comments and insights from readers are always welcome.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)